Never Trust The Crap Your Maid Says

She was rejected by her first Singaporean employer, I gave her another shot of chance to work in Singapore. I let her have the luxury to watch TV after she finished her chores. She ate what we eat. We bought her presents during Christmas, gave her ang bao when it was CNY and celebrated her birthday by surprising her with a birthday cake!

She told me two Thur night ago that she wanted to go back to Philippines because of urgent family matters; her sis wants to sell away her house, she needs to go back to stop her. She wanted to quit immediately and fly back on Sat! I gave her home-leave after she expressed that she wanted to come back and work for me after she settled with her problem at home.

I told her, she can go for 2 weeks but if she wasn't serious about coming back then she should be honest and tell me about it and not let me wait for her. She assured me times and again that she will come back. She promised to call me as soon as she reach Philippines. Mr Hubby was even willing to pay for her air-ticket to fly back to Singapore if she come back to work for us.

She borrowed one of my travel bag and packed the mobile phone that my MIL lend her and some clothes, she told me she wasn't going to bring everything with her because she will be back.

I waited 8 fucking days for her call. She never call.

I had a very bad feeling about it.

On the 8th day, I opened her cupboard only to realize that those clothes she left behind were merely her PJs and some old clothes that we gave her. The newer clothes we bought for her, the bags and belt that I gave her were GONE! Only much later, I learnt from my MIL that she took another mobile phone that belongs to Mr Hubby, but she didn't return us the first one that my MIL lend her. WTF!!

NBCB!! She has no fucking intention to ever come back! Then don't fucking lie to me and waste my time. On the 9th day, I went to the maid agency, cancelled her work permit and got myself a replacement maid.

Karein Pagaguan De Vera, if you even get a chance to read this. SCREW YOU!!

Who the fuck do you think you are?! Like what I had told you before, NOBODY in the world is indispensable or irreplaceable. Especially in my explicit world!

KNN, make me sibei boh eng, stressed up and cannot sleep well at night.

Luckily, I am only a bit pale but overall 我还是美的 lor!! Or else I will go to Philippines and burn down your fucking house, De Vera!

Maybe, there really are certain type of human that just ain't worth treating them with integrity and respect in the first place! I must say, I am so fucking disappointed.

Losing Sleep

I am a hardcore insomniac. I can't seem to be sleeping well no matter how hard I try. And it isn't my baby who is keeping me awake at night; I am lucky to have Laetitia who usually sleep thru the night without waking up. Ya, God bless me, I know.

Last night, Mr Hubby went to bed leaving me struggling alone to remove my makeup and at the same time keeping a watchful eye on my forever hyper Laetitia. I had only closed my eyes up for a minute to remove my mascara, the next moment when I turned around to look at her, she had the bathroom slipper in her hands, almost sending it into her mouth!

I managed to get my little rascal to bed at 1am, I was pretty much burnt out by then. At 5am, somebody stirred in bed (either Mr Hubby or Laetitia), I woke up, fed Laetitia some water and tried to get back to sleep. Damn! All of a sudden, I became wide awake!

I tossed and turned in bed, until I finally gave up. My every attempt to return to dreamland failed tragically.

:(

Why am I losing sleep?

Perhaps I am way too stressed out as my stupid maid hadn't call me and by now, I am quite convinced that she had fucking "tuwah me to holan" and decided not to come back. KNNB!!

I NEED A BABY-SITTER!!!

Work Life Balance...

... is absolute bull-crap!

I worked from home today; but today is not the same like those days when I have a maid. Today, I am THE BLOODY MAID!


My day started with me having to grab the phone with my ear and shoulder while I bounce my baby to sleep as she suddenly decided to get cranky during my tel-con!


My lunch was Campbell soup, I drank it directly from the pot in the kitchen, while the damn pot was still on the stove! Oh, did I forgot to mention that I was also feeding Laetitia at the same time! Yes, I multi-task, as always!!


This baby of mine had food on her clothes, face, hands, feet and even her hair. See how slick her hair had become after she styled it with broccoli & potato puree!



I only got the chance to shower at 6.30pm after Mr Hubby returned home, surprisingly early. Don't ask me to cook dinner, I swear I will throw my chopper at you. Mr Hubby brought us out to eat.


After sending Laetitia to my parents-in-law's place for the next few days, I returned home only to face my pile of unfinished work. At 12am, Mr Hubby went to bed without me, I was still checking the slides that I had rushed to complete for tomorrow.


Oh shit! I forgot to get my Christmas Tree and deco out from my store room, I need them for training in the office. I hate to go dig for something so late at night. Wah lau eh!!


Finally, I am quite done for the day. It is now 1.35am!


And this is just DAY 1, there are at least another 13 more days to go...

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

No Maid

Today marks the start of my "maid-less" days... Hopefully it will not be for too long.

GOOD LUCK TO ME!!

We saved $773!?

I was looking for a blender to buy for the longest time. I needed one to make Laetitia's baby food. I shopped around and had seen blender costing from as little as $16.90 at Carrefour to one Kenwood brand from BEST Denki that cost over $200!

I can't make up my mind which one to buy because I had never bought or used a blender before, all my life. I AM AS CLUELESS AS CAN BE.

So I engage the help of Mr Hubby for the selection. We went to BEST Denki at Plaza Singapura. After looking at several designs and various brands of blenders, he chose this one from Philips.

I asked him why this is one.

He said,"This one usual price is $849!! Now only $76. So very worth it!"


Tell me.... Is he too smart or am I too stupid? ~_~''

Well, anyhow we bought that blender and it been working fine for us.

Going "kai kai" with Baby

Bringing your baby out by yourself can be extremely fun and need not be a chore. It really can be as easy as a breeze!

Always ensure that your baby had enough sleep the night before going out and feeding him/her just before going out will cut down on the extra weight of water and milk bottle that you need to bring along.

Here are some of the necessities to be packed:

-Thermos Flask with hot water

-Milk Bottle with some cool boiled water

-Milk Powder Container with different compartment for some milk powder (if you don't breastfeed) & dried snack

-Diapers (2-3) and Baby Wet Wipes (the handy type with 20 sheets)

-A toy or anything that your baby like

-Pacifier (if your baby rely on it)

You can also pack stuff that are optional (but I don't usually bring them):

-An extra set of clothes for your baby in case he/she stained their clothes
-Baby Bib
-Baby utensils



I bought this "pig" hand-puppet from DAISO for only $2 and it's really helps when it comes to providing entertainment for my baby, especially on boring train rides or waiting for bus.




I don't have a REAL diaper bag, I would just use my normal bag and because I don't bring a lot of unnecessary stuff, they all fit into the bag quite nicely and I even have space for my own wallet, phone and keys.




Instead of pushing a pram and having all the trouble to open and close the pram, let alone carrying it up and down the stairs, I opt for a baby-sling. I am going to be honest, it bloody hard to use initially but after many practices, you will get quite used to it. And I appreciate the fact that my baby can drop off to sleep quite soundly in it. But still I wouldn't give it 100 points because the sling tends to slide off and needs constant adjustments.

When the unexpected happens...

1) If your baby had finish all the food/milk and is still crying loudly because he/she is hungry. Buy a piece of fruit or bread and break it into small piece and feed he/her with it. That usually shut them up.

2) If you run out of hot water to make milk, go to McDonald's, order a drink for yourself and ask them for a cup of hot water.

3) If your baby pour water on himself/herself accidentally and you didn't bring extra set of clothes, take off the wet clothes immediately, squeeze out as much water as possible. Head to a toilet with hand-dryer, blow dry it there.

4) If your baby screams non-stop in the public, put a piece of snack into his/her mouth. And if that didn't stop him/her, just smile at the annoyed faces that stares back at the both of you.

When all else failed, speed-dial the number to call for a taxi and head home immediately! LOL!

For me, I guess the key thing to deal with the awkwardness that your baby can bring you, is to tell yourself that you are blessed to have a baby who is healthy enough to create troubles for you, so just sit back, relax and enjoy the torture your baby brings!

Post-natal Exercise

Ya, I might not have a figure like Kelly Hu or Fiona Xie but at the very least I managed to shed away all those 18kgs that I piled on during my pregnancy.

Truth is, I don't exercise, because I am a busy working mom!! I don't have the will-power to overcome the temptation of food so dieting is OUT!

So just what the hell do I do?

I multi-task : Leg lifts + baby-sitting

One of the best work-out!

Love Yourself...

And it doesn't matter who you marry!

That was the title of a book that I recently read.

If you are wondering, if I was reading this kind of book because my marriage is in dire straits, all I can say is - thanks for your concern, but this time, you got it wrong.

I like to read, to be more specific, I like to read non-fictional books. They can be anything from self-help, to medical journal, to autobiography, actually anything that can enrich my soul.

Anyway, about this book that I read, to be honest, it is pretty draggy and if you are looking for an answer to save your marriage, I think after the first couple of chapters you might have already given up hope and went ahead to file for the divorce.

But there are stuff in the book that is worth pondering. Like, how the author believed that people who are not happy in their marriage/life, are people who are not honest to themselves. And if you are wondering why it seemed as though ALL your past relationships/marriages ended in the same way, it was because YOU created your own ending.

Just a couple of days back, I received a phone call from an ex-colleague, she sounded really delirious! She was lamenting about why her life is always fucked-up, how she always trusted people who mistreated/used her... blah... blah... blah... But I didn't really understand why she was so upset.

If you are expecting me to say some stereotypical bullshits like, "Don't be sad. It's ok, cheer up. You still have friends... etc" Please, if you need to hear those crap, call anyone else, but NOT ME! Because I will not say things I don't mean. I will probably tell you to get a hold of yourself and/or you are too carried away by your emotions and ungrounded suspicions to be thinking straight right now. Or I might suggest you take a trip to either the shrink or visit India or some similar 3rd world countries! Or I might even recommend that you shut your big mouth up and just read Shandy Sim 's blog because there are people who are about to do anything just to stay alive.

People had asked me how I managed to battle my own depression into remission. How to stay happy in a marriage/enjoy motherhood?

Seriously, I am not some HAPPY folk to begin with, but I fucking work on it! Yes, I work my part to be happy. You think happiness is GOD sent??!! LOL!! What a joke!!

Before I share my personal experience, I want to thank my hubby for being gracious and understanding, because he had never stopped me from flashing our lives online.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here's the story:

One night(sometimes back), Mr Hubby came home around 4am, smelling like a XO-soaked ashtray! Prior to his return, he hadn't phoned home to inform me his whereabouts and as usual, I don't have the habit of calling him to question him.

He took off his alcohol reeked clothes and staggered into the bathroom, a while later, I can hear him gagged. He must have merlioned into the toilet bowl. I thought to myself, if this happened in the past, I would have killed him. But instead I went to the kitchen and poured him a glass of warm water to make him feel better. He slept after hitting the pillow, in 2 seconds.

The next day, he told me he went to a nightclub, drinking with his clients the night before. So I jokingly asked, "Did you touch any of the hostess?" His reply shocked me beyond words. "What do you think? It's a nightclub mah." For a moment, I couldn't get the image of my own husband fondling young girls, who sat on his laps stroking his god-knows-where, in a sleazy, smoke-filled KTV room, out of my mind. I knew I was way too imaginative for my own good!

Would you pull out a sledgehammer and smashed him right on his head, if you were me? Well, I almost wanted to. But no, I didn't. I remained quiet.... until I was able to find some composure. And composure only arrived the next day. I was upset for the entire 24 hours after his "confession"!

When I had finally calmed myself, I communicated my disappointment to him. I made known to him that I wasn't angry that he went to a nightclub, I wasn't even angry that he admitted touching someone. I was disturbed by the casualness of his remarks; he sounded as though IT WAS PERFECTLY ALRIGHT TO TOUCH ANOTHER FEMALE SPECIES AND I FUCKING HAD TO ACCEPT THAT! He is smart, he got what I meant.

At the same time, I didn't forget thank him for his honesty and his faith in me that I would be able to handle the truth. Well truth is a bit hard to swallow but I rather buy the truth anytime.

If I hadn't gone through so much shit in my past, I would be dogmatic as well. It is common to see couples kicking up a big huha and probably accused the man of being unfaithful and assumed that he loved you less. But I decided I will not go there. Because assumption is the most unnecessary thing to do in a marriage. Don't know, you ask. Not happy, you say. What's there to assume?


I had changed. With the changes, I see that things can be different.

I can't teach you how to be happy or how to maintain a relationship/marriage, because I am also still learning. But I can let you in on my golden rules that had changed my life:



1) You can't change the world/others, but you can change yourself; and when you change yourself, the world/others will change the way they treat you.

2) Live in the moment. Don't worry about things that hasn't happen because they might not happen.

3) Always remind yourself of the things you have, instead of thinking about things that you never own.

4) Learn to treat your man VERY well; don't be afraid that he will then take you for granted. Because if he is stupid enough not to treasure you, trust me, there will be hundreds of other men who will!

5) You are what you believe you are. That's the law of attraction.

Our Seafood Galore Dinner!

This morning, Mr Hubby and I woke up early to bring Laetitia to see her specialist because her lymph nodes were swollen and we were quite concern with it. But it turned out to be just some post-viral infection thingy and it wasn't serious at all.

So it calls for a need to celebrate; let's feast! We went supermarketing. Instead of going to our usual Sheng Siong at Ten Mile Junction or NTUC at Lot 1, we drove to the more "atas" version of NTUC, Fair Price Finest at Bt Timah Plaza.

I know it is hard to believe, but I know how to kill, wash, prepare and cook crabs. Mr Hubby had always doubted this unique capability of mine. So today, he decided it was time to test my skill. He bought 2 Sri Lankan crabs for me to show off my talents; and boy, the crabs were HUGE!

This fella weighed about 800g! The other one was a bit lighter.

Laetitia seemed to be mesmerised by the size of the crab too. She actually stretched out her hands and wanted to grab the plastic bag with the crab in it! This girl is super daring!

We LOVE eating oyster, especially raw oysters! And at Fair Price Finest, they actually sell them. At $1.95 each; we bought half a dozen and a knife that was specially meant to open them.

Laetitia was curious with everything surrounding her. She wanted to touch and feel all the stuff that we were buying; in the end Mr Hubby let her hold a lemon, and she was quite pleased with it.

After spending $145 on food and other groceries, we happily load all the bags onto the car and headed back home. Laetitia had a great time, she always enjoy going marketing with us. We also make it a point to bring her along so that she can be exposed to more things.

This was the last time, they were seen alive, frolicking in the shallow water.

Moments later, they were murdered! Yes, I stabbed them to death!

After which I bathed their corpses and chopped them up.

And then I turned them into SUPER DELICIOUS Black Pepper Crab and SIBEI TA GOK Chili Crab! Mr Hubby helped by shucking those oyster and cutting the lemons

The oysters were simply heavenly!!! So fresh and juicy!! It's almost orgasmic slurping them!! I regretted only buying half a dozen. Next time, I want to buy 2 dozens!!

Tell me, where can you find a wife who is gorgeous, humorous, understanding, know how to whip up yummy food and is also good in.... ahem... you know lah!?

Wah Bianz!

If I am not A SUPER-WIFE, who is?!

Be Empowered

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Quite a few years back, I said it before on national TV (when I was doing a recording for a documentary show about people in the line of beauty) that I am terrified of getting OLD!

Well, that was all before turning 30.



Now at 32, I wish I could take back what I had said.

There is nothing to fear about ageing. The ever-increasing number of the birthday candles on my cake does not represent the number of lines that I am getting. Instead it is my empowerment to face my future with great hope, aspirations and the right attitude towards living!

Carina Lau said it in the TV commercial, "Age is just a number..."

Well, my number is slightly different. My 30s is the new 20s! And I have confidence that even in my future, my 40s will be the new 20s!!

Don't believe me for it. Come see me, in flesh and blood.

Marriott Hotel, Sat, 20 Sept 08

(Details below)

You can call 6745 4125 for registration or just to find out more.

It's all worth it!

Yes, it's all worth it! When she cuddles me and says the sweetest things like "ma.. ma..", even though chances are she might not understand what is she saying, but I would wanna imagine she is calling me.

She still looks a little not herself yet, but trust me, she is getting well because her mischief is coming back!!

Sick Child 'O' Mine

-

"To a mother, nothing is worst than her sick child."

That's just so absolutely fucking true!!!!

-

If only there is a miracle drug that will instantly take Laetitia's fever away & make her well again...

OK. I know there isn't. How about, let me take her place to be sick?
-


At least, when I am sick, I can sleep!!! When she is sick, she won't let me sleep!!!

Don't Grow Up Like Mommy

I vowed to surround Laetitia with lots of love. She will grow up with all the warmth and attention that she can get from our home. I will not let anything jeopardise her chance to be brought up in a complete family. Laetitia will not be deprived of people who love her. When she grows up, she will fall in love for all the right reason. She will fall in love only with the man who truly deserve her love.

Most importantly, SHE WILL NOT GROW UP LIKE ME!

I "fall in love" at a very young age. At 12, I already had a "boyfriend" and from then on, I am hardly "available". I would drift in and out of "relationships" looking for acceptance and for someone or anybody to want me. And for the same reason, I stayed long in relationships, that is if the men can tolerate my craziness.

At time of "desperation", I would used guys that I don't even fancy, just so as to be "loved", in the process, I had hurt one of my close guy friends but many times, the person I hurt most, was none other than myself.

The need to be "loved" was so intense that I had, in the past, used money, body and threats to keep people close to me. Often I would put my life on the sacrificial table, if I had to. Playing the martyr was my game; I thought I would be treasured, but I was wrong. More often than not, I would be taken for granted. It was like my life was dependent on the regular dosage of love, and those men held the prescriptions to it.

It was sickening, because no matter where I looked or who I ended up with, I can't find what I was searching for. Men, how can I ever expect them to have loved me, like how a father would have love his little girl, unconditionally? The subconscious replacement image I had was a complete mismatch in reality.

I remembered, several years back, there was a police officer who took my statement in the hospital after an overdose. He said."I don't understand you. You are young and beautiful, why do you want kill yourself over an asshole? Believe me, next time, you will find someone who will really love you with all that he has." Up until now, I still want to believe that the prophecy of that police officer will one day come true.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Mr Hubby picked Laetitia up and threw her in the air, she chuckled loudly. Then he blew kisses on her tummy, she laughed even more joyously.

I smiled. There is no reason for me to be worried.

For she will never have the chance to grow up like me, that is our promise.