Going Beyond "I Do"

I like attending weddings; it has a magical effect on me. Seeing the brides walking down the aisle in lacy white gowns, I almost wanted to believe in those fairytale’s happily-ever-after crap.

Every time, I read Snow White or Cinderella or Rapunzel to my young daughter, I would roll my eyes when I reached the end of the story. “… the Prince married the princess and they lived happily ever after.”

Can you believe the kind of poison that was seeded into our young minds when we were children and later bloomed into the most unrealistic expectation we have on marriage? We were made to believe that marriage is the only key to end our miserable lives but on the contrary, marriage can be the beginning of nightmares for some women.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against holy matrimony. In fact, I am a believer of it. But women (even some men) must be clear that happily-ever-after does not come automatically after saying “I do”.

It would takes many ‘ingredients’ (love alone is never enough) like commitment, faith, courage, loyalty, understanding, care, concern and throw in some pragmatic elements like financial stability, status/economic compatibility and even some tears must be shed, to concoct marital bliss.

So unless you are living with seven dwarfs, have a fairy godmother and your hair is ten miles long, you have better start putting in efforts to create your own happily-ever-after.

And as for me, I didn’t have a lavish wedding, just a warm and humble reception surrounded by people who loves me. It has been four years and two kids, with fair amount of ups and downs, and I am still feeling happy.

How we do it? Simple but fun stuff, like sneaking out to catch a show when the kids have fallen asleep (with another caregiver at home), exploring new places for dinner, just the two of us so it feels like we are still in courtship. Doesn't even have to be often, just once a month or two. Have a hobby or do something that you both enjoy. For us, we run. And it is never too late to start; I only started exercising with Mr Hubby two months ago!

Lastly, never expect your spouse to change for you, instead, have your own life and do everything a woman possibly can to look good. Because a happy wife = a happy marriage. That gives me all the more reason to buy more new shoes and dresses! How can I not be happy!?

It's good to have 2

I never wanted to have a second baby after Laetitia, because I am not too into kids but I do love my own very much.

Plus, I was afraid that having two children would mean lots more chaos at home, which turned out that I am right. My home always looks like a battlefield, with dead soldiers toys and books littered all over the place every evening!

And did I forget to mention the constant squabbles and fights, which actually aren't as bad as having them both down with flu or any nasty viruses of sort. I have already forgotten how it feels like to have a day goes by without hearing someone cry.

If I can start all over again, would I still choose to have two?

You bet, I will.

Why?

Because of this:

The love they have for each other. Priceless

Go Green

I am not the greenest person by nature. I try to refuse a plastic bag if I really don't need one but I don't bring along a recyclable bag to my grocery shopping. I would drop my can into the recycle bin whenever I consume Coke Zero from my office but I threw away countless numbers of Coke Zero's PET bottles down the chute when I am at home. I tried to remember to switch off lights whenever I am not in the area but I need my air-con every night. Yes, even rainy nights.

Probably some iceberg in the Antarctic is melting away because of me; I do feel a tinge of guilt from time to time.

So last Sunday, we (Mr Hubby suggested and I just went along) left our two cars parked at home and took the kids with us on public transport. There is always first time for everything.

We travelled by train to Holland Village for dinner. The kids were over the moon because don't all kids have a strange obsession with trains?! But the best part wasn't until we made our way home.

Laetitia, our nearly 4 year old, had been begging us to take her on a double-decker bus ride like forever. So we decided to take a slight detour by taking Bus #7 from Holland Village to Clementi and then continue our journey home from there, taking the train.

She was ecstatic. The other passengers on the bus must be thinking we were some alien from outer space, for we were taking pictures of our kids like nobody's business while they were going "Woww!! Look! Mommy! Whoooaa!"

We made it home safely. And surprisingly, it had been an enjoyable trip, not just for the kids but we love just as much too.

Do your part. Go Green whenever possible.