Friday, June 12

The Beginning

Spend the day at home instead of at work. Had been MC for extreme fatigue. I am so tired that I simply can't get my butt off the bed without feeling light-headed.

In case you are wondering if I am dying, the answer is "No". The somewhat longer answer is "Who knows, people die all the time without really knowing when and where, death gonna takes place. But for now, I don't think I am dying just yet!"

Ok, cut the crap. Truth is - I could be pregnant... most likely to be pregnant... almost certainly to be pregnant... Ok... Ok... honestly... the test kit shows that I am pregnant but the ultra-sound scan from my gynae's clinic has not pick up any image yet, so there can still be a 0.1% chance that I am just giving myself excuse to be fat and is plainly exhausted from all that binge eating.

Perhaps I am in denial. I guess, I am just not mentally prepared for another baby, but then again when was I ever mentally prepared for motherhood anyway. But the thought of putting on weight and then going through 'boot-camp' style of dieting & exercise to shed them off still sends shivers down my spine.

Even though I had done it before, when I successfully lost beyond those 18 kgs which I had piled up during my last pregnancy and incidentally became slimmer than my prenatal, I am still apprehensive.

And the thought of GD (gestational diabetes), and all those daily, multiple blood tests and insulin shots which I endured during my last pregnancy is enough to get me damn freaked out!

It might have seemed that I am very unwilling to go through another round of pregnancy because it was more of a nightmare than anything I could enjoy, but I think I would psyche myself ready to venture into "hell" again if that's what it takes to have another "blessing" in our life.

How could I still say "No" to kids, when I already know just how much joy one lil' angel can bring, let alone two or more.

But two is already the benchmark for me.

So let the battle begins!!


Mel said...

yeah!! yeah!! yeah!!! welcome to the mother of 2 club.

Linda said...

Can't wait to see Baby Number 2. Take care.

yanZzz said...

wow ... she grew so fast ..
first she was a chubby gal ..
nw .. WA LAU .. time flies suddenly i felt old .. sianz


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