Hello 2014, sorry I am late

I realized that I hadn't been blogging for a while.. ok.. a long while. Let's just say..  I got tired. Many things had happened towards the end of 2013. Don't get me wrong, it was still an awesome year. I got a new role at work, my baby girl was starting formal education, amidst those, there had been death and illnesses.

Then, I had gone away to be on my own for a short time. Away from my kids, my home, my husband, my job. It was my necessary recharge, a time for me to be me, and not just the role I play - a wife, a mother or a salaried employee. A time to sleep and eat at whenever I want, however I want. A time to wake up to peace and quiet, instead of the noise from my alarm clock or the chaos my children create. A time to stay in bed for as long I wanted or to stay out the whole day, knowing I don't have to come back to anyone who is waiting.

Seoul is beautiful, but freezing. I loved my trip, but I missed my family. After more than 12 days of travelling (5 days in Japan for business), I finally came home. They say, "Resting is for a longer journey." I think they must be right.

Am I ready for 2014? I don't know, what I do know is, the year ahead would be more challenging than the last.

Happy New Year. Happy Lunar New Year. I really mean it, because I, too, need it -  Have a really happy 2014!

Son over Daughter

There are times when I would secretly prefer having son over daughter. Today, happens to be one of those.

I know it is making me sound like a real asshole for saying that; as though I came from the ancient era where boys were once treasured, and girls were trashed. But before you judge me, or let the feminists burn me alive, let me put things into perspectives.

We had a normal Sunday morning, where my helper would bring my two kids to the playground (within our condo's compound) while I stayed in bed for as long as I possibly can. Then my kids came home and talked about the great time they had with their friends at the playground. They cleaned themselves up, had lunch, my son showered.. and up until this point, our Sunday was as uneventful as any Sunday.

Then, it was my daughter's turn to shower. She went in briefly and came out of the bathroom, then she turned our world upside down when she told us her private part was bleeding!

She can't be menstruating, she isn't even six! I screamed in my head.

I laid her down and checked her and was shocked to find a cut on her delicate part, near her you-know-where. I asked her how she got the cut, she told me she fell down at the playground. I checked the rest of her body and couldn't find any bruises or cuts anywhere else. Panic infested me at that instant.

We (hubby and I) decided to bring her to the GP near our house. After a short wait, I got into the consultation room with my daughter, I told the GP what I had found on her private area, he listened and looked thoughtful. The male GP barely examined my shrieking daughter, who was bleeding and was in pain. Then he told me awkwardly that he didn't find her bleeding wound consistent with injury that would have resulted from a simple fall. He tried to probe about our family background with so much uneasiness exhibiting all over his face, he was making me super nervous. Finally, he let it out.

He told me, he wouldn't charge us the consultation fee, because his clinic wasn't equip with any sexual assault diagnostic kit, he suggested that we make a trip to a hospital instead.

SEXUAL ASSAULT!!! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???

I had wanted to throw up, but I didn't. I composed myself, exit the GP's office. I got my husband, but didn't tell him what the GP told me, but made him drove us straight to KK Children's and Women's Hospital.

Throughout the journey, my mind was in a whirlpool. I was fighting those dark thoughts that had gathered like rain clouds over my head.

I pig-out on a carbo-rich meal; played games on my mobile phone to distract myself, while we waited for our turn to see a doctor. It wasn't long before it was our turn, but the short wait was unbearable for me, and perhaps me alone.

I told the KK's doctor that our GP had wanted us to be here because he found the cut on my daughter's private part inconsistent with injury that would normally be sustained from a fall. And I just didn't want to go any further. So the doctor checked on her and asked her numerous questions, then the doctor got another more senior doctor to come in.

After a thorough examination, the senior doctor finally lifted those heavy rocks from my chest when she announced that the cut was most likely to be a straddle injury - injury to the genital area by falling astride a blunt object. There wasn't any signs of sexual abuse.

It almost felt as though I had died and was brought back to life! And now, I really wanted to slaughter that GP!

Lesson learnt. Go to a GP only if you wanted to get nothing more than a MC, for other reasons, consult a professional!

Next, where the hell can I enroll my daughter to a self-defence class, no, better a class that would teach her how to yank out the balls of any men who would dare touch her inappropriately?

The Forgotten Child

"Hey! Long time no see." 

Then we hugged and I shook hands with his children (a son and a daughter). He continued, "Where are you working now?" "How many children do you have? How old are they?"

I was at a wedding dinner last weekend and conversation like the one above is always very common, you would think. The only thing unusual about it was - the person who was having that conversation with me is my own father.

Yes. My biological father.

My parents went their separate ways. I was 8, and nobody told me that my life was going to change forever. 

I was sent to stay with my grandparents and aunts, where I spent the next 14 years growing up without either of my parents by my side.

While my mom made continuous effort to reconnect with us (my brother and I) during our teenage years, my dad on the other hand, withdrawn himself further and further away from us after forming a second family, with his new wife, completed with a new set of children of their own.

As far as I can remember, I had never been to my dad's new home or spent a day with him and his new family. I saw lesser and lesser of him, from once a year to once in a few years, then came a day, he stopped visiting me altogether. 

Some 7 years back, I bumped into him when I was pregnant with my first child. I walked up to him and greeted him. He looked completely puzzled then he casually told me I must have mistaken him for somebody else and he walked off. My own dad did not recognized me! I had to call out his full name before he could remember he had another daughter, who was right there, standing in front of him.

That evening, at the wedding dinner where I met him, he brought along his children. Apart from our overly polite handshakes, we had no interactions whatsoever, because we are not anything, but strangers.

Her daughter should probably in her mid 20s, looking very polished, refined and elegant, seated right next to him, looking absolutely like a proud daddy's little girl. She was like this delicate orchid, so sheltered, protected, growing in a perfect greenhouse. And I was like some weeds! Fending for myself out there and getting tramped on.

If I told you, I wasn't feeling bitter that night, I was lying because that girl sitting beside my dad could have been me. But no. I never feel like I ever had a father.

I never blame my dad for remarrying or for making choices to live life as a wholesome father for my step-siblings. But I just couldn't stop myself from feeling I had been deliberately forgotten and that he had chosen to neglect me, to have nothing to do with me.

Where were you when I was battling depression? Where were you when I tried to take my own life? Where were you the whole time? Where? I had wanted to scream at him.

But I didn't. 

As much as I would love to have a father to love me and protect me, I knew it's all over. He WAS my father, but not any more. 

I have grown up. I have moved on. I have no need for a father any more.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.10

Weekly Off Day For Maids

Since the beginning of this year, all foreign domestic helpers whose work permits are issued after 1 Jan 2013 will be entitled weekly off day. However, many employers of these FDH are forking out more money, on top of paying the basic wage and levy, to offer compensation in-lieu instead.

Many employers believed that weekly off days will create problems, such as their maids mixing around with bad companies, getting into relationships, having unprotected sex, getting knock up or worst, being slaughtered by some Bangla workers.

I have been hiring domestic helpers (maids, more commonly known) since 2007. How I look at it is - I am just an employer, not my helper's family or friend, so why should I be bothered about how she wants to lead/ruin her life. All I ask is for her to do her work properly, I don't ask any questions about her private life. If she doesn't want to share her life with me, that's fine, because everybody deserves some privacy.

Above: My helper, Suparni, on her first day of work with my family, and my daughter.

As an employee of a MNC, this is exactly what I would expect from my boss (direct manager) too. If I am incompetent, my boss can fire me, but my boss should not dictate how I live my life, regardless how much he/she is paying me, let alone deny me of off days.

I don't know about you, but I really don't wish to see my boss's face 24/7 (even though my boss is really awesome), so what's make you think your maid wants to see you 24/7, for up to two years!

And having said all that, do I give my helper weekly off? You might ask.

You bet. She gets to have a break from work (and us) every week and she chooses to take Saturday off. I am happy for her to be away, it gives an opportunity to bond with my children (and husband) and to show them that I am not only capable at work, I am also a fantastic domestic goddess!

Japan Solo - Shinjuku, Tokyo

For the third and final instalment of my Japan Solo blog post, I will be wrapping it up with a little bit of Shinjuku, Tokyo and some of my deranged rants. (You can find the first two entries of my trip here and here.)

I am 37, it should be too early for mid-life crisis, I should believe. I have a job which I enjoy, a family to love and to be proud of, I live in one of the most desirable city in Asia, but it hadn't stop me from wondering if I would be better off somewhere else. Some places where I don't have to raise kids in a competitive rat-racing society, where living is about enjoying the moment, at a pace where we can all stop and smell the roses. Where I can sit and watch the sun goes down without feeling the guilt that I had wasted a day being unproductive. Most bizarrely, I wondered if I would be better off living a totally different life from the one I am having right now.

And with all these questions boggling in my head, I travelled to Shinjuku, Tokyo. Staring at the intimidating Japan subway network, I thought the best solution was to consult the information counter. Perhaps, the lady working at the information counter wanted to play a prank at me misunderstood my intention and gave me the wrong direction.

After more than an hour on the train (Shinjuku is supposed to be only 30 minutes away from Yokohama), Shinjuku was no where to be seen and realizing the scenery of my journey had taken on a more rural landscape, I quickly disembarked. After checking with another station's information counter, I was sure I had been misled.

I went to the correct platform and board the correct train. I had been lost for more than an hour. Now I know why there are plentiful of drinks and food vending machines on the platform, because there will be people like me who was lost, thirsty and hungry!

Finally, I reached Shinjuku Station, the busiest and the most complicated station recognised by the Guinness World Book of Records.

Once out of the station, I was greeted by the kaleidoscopic floods of people, cars, building, signboards, etc. I visited some shops and Isetan departmental store for some work-related window shopping and the psychedelic amount of consumables were a little too much for me. I couldn't believe I would say this, but just after three hours in Shinjuku, I felt I had enough. I was overdosed. I desperately wanted to get out, to a place with less congestion.

It was my last day in Japan. I had prefer the quiet, peaceful town of Narita to the florid city of Shinjuku, for it reminded me too much of my own country. As I reclined into my spacious seat in Business Class, flying back, I thought to myself, "Maybe there really is a place out there, somewhere, that would be perfect for me, but it can never be perfect if I am not surrounded by the love of my family."

And speaking about perfect, it was perfect time to return. I was missing home; missing the smell of my kids and the warm body of my husband. Although, I hadn't figure out much of my life, it had been a worthwhile trip - a solo trip that I would never forget.

Customer Disservice

I have spent more than half of my life working in the service industry, would that gives me an unrealistic expectation for service? I, sometimes, wonder. As a customer, as well as an insider of the industry, the basic rule of customer service is simple: Keep your customer satisfied and you could do no wrong.

On 14 Feb, 2013, I walked into CK Calvin Klein store located on the 3^rd level of Ion Orchard to buy a Valentine’s Day present for my husband. I must admit, I am really bad at buying gifts, so I had a hard time going through the selection of men’s belt, trying hard to decide which design to buy and what size to get. I went home with a size 36, slate-colored belt with a silver buckle.

I was told at check-out, I could bring it back for an exchange if the size doesn’t fit, but it had to be done within 3 days. The person who served me also put down a remark on my receipt to assure me that I have nothing to worry when it comes to the size. I left the store pleased.

However, it turned out that the belt was too long for my husband and I was disappointed to realize that I had actually bought him a rather similar belt before. What a terrible wife I am!

Hence this evening (three days from my initial visit), I returned to the same store with my husband, armed with the brand new belt (still in the wrapper) and the receipt, I was hopeful to make an exchange, perhaps to another belt which my husband would be happier to own.

A Sale Asst. (a pregnant lady) approached us while we were browsing the belt’s selection; when my husband expressed his desire to make an exchange; this Sale Asst. told us coldly that she could only allow exchange to another size. We asked if she could make an exception, because the item was totally brand new (still sitting inside the wrapper) and most importantly it was meant to be a present.

Still expressionless, she said she would check and walked away from us, disappearing behind a corner. We waited patiently for her reappearance, only to be greeted by her bad news. She informed us that our request to exchange for other designs couldn’t be entertained; she can only change the belt for a smaller size. And then instead of apologizing, she went on and on trying to explain that the exchange was not possible due to the system and it’s the merchandise code. blah, blah, blah. Quite honestly, as a customer, I didn’t pay your company to hear about your internal inflexibility or a seemingly incompetent POS system!

So we gave up and agreed to settle for a smaller size belt of the same design. The exchange took a long time (because of the system again!), while during the wait, my husband asked to look at the company’s return policy and was told there isn’t anything in print. My husband commented that it was puzzling for a company to allow exchange but set such rigid limitation. In these days, retail scene is all about service excellence and he couldn’t understand why pleasing a customer is just so hard here at Calvin Klein, Ion Orchard.

At this time, the gentleman (I think he is a senior staff) who served me when I bought the belt, approached us and tried to understand the matter. Through him, we learnt that exchanging to another design can be done, except they would need their manager’s approval. But this option wasn’t made known to us earlier, despite us asking for it.

The same Sale Asst. who handled our exchange spoke, but it would be better if she hadn’t spoken. “So now you want to exchange to other belts or not?”

I shook my head. The damage has already been done. It’s not about the exchange any more; she has created a disastrous shopping experience for us. What was supposed to be a happy memory of Valentine’s Day has now been reduced to an unforgettable retail disappointment.

I am a mother of two, and being in the front line of service industry for donkey years before I took on training and development,  I can fully understand that being pregnant and constantly on one’s feet can be overwhelming, but that’s doesn’t automatically give her the leeway to upset the customers.

Consumers’ satisfaction is the #1 priority to most, if not all, retail businesses. I wrote to Club 21 (both on FB and thru email) and suggested the company look into retraining their staff and empowering them to make decisions that can delight their customers. 

Haven't you already know, “If you don’t take care of your customer, someone else will.”

Why Still No Babies?

Yesterday, we brought our kids to River Hong Bao Carnival at The Float @ Marina Bay and I was approached by a CNN journalist who wanted to put me in front of the camera for an interview. She wanted me to talk about 'Why Singaporeans refuse to have more babies?'

The first thought that came to my head was "WOW! How could she possibly know that I have been saying NO to having a third baby to my relatives for the past two days during our CNY visiting?"

"Could she have read my blog post, the one I wrote with conviction about not having more babies? Or do I just have the I WANT NO MORE BABIES look?"

 As she was wiring me up for the interview, she told me that many Singaporean families cited stress as the main reason for not having more children. Many families felt that our country is too stressful to live and work in, let alone raising a family. If it is true, why are there still millions of immigrants flocking to our little island?

I can't speak for the majority of Singaporean families, but personally, stress isn't the main reason for me not having another child. Even with the recent package thrown in by the government to promote fertility rate, I didn't feel or think that Singapore is a great place for raising children, mainly because this country couldn't see past GDP growth and focused too much on life's tangibles. Maybe this country's vision is just entirely different from that of mine.

When I imagined my daughter going to Primary school next year to have lessons, homework, spellings, and whatever MOE thinks is going to prepare her for PSLE, filled up most part of her childhood, and not to mention that she will be labelled streamed at a tender age, I get depressed and very disturbed. Why isn't this country getting it?! When you cramped the child with so much textbook knowledge, you murdered her interest to learn! And streaming - it is at best capping a child with self-limitation. Tell me, why do we even want that?

Going to school shouldn't be about preparing for PSLE, O level, A level or even the University, it should be about preparing a child for living a life worth living! It should be about cultivating characters, inspiring passion, helping one to develop his/her talents and shaping a more resilient personality. And no amount of homework or exams will do justice to that.

Children should be given time to explore, to discover, to enjoy what the world has to offer, and not chain them up with tuition and lessons, making them slaves to paper qualifications or to be pushed to 'drug' themselves with the Internet and/or video games to escape the mundanes of school lives.

Our education system has produced inevitable amount of stress for the children and their parents and when these children grow up and become parents themselves, they are going to think twice about having their own. There you have it, a vicious cycle! Congratulation!

Meanwhile, here I am, bringing my two children into our world and possibly trying to go against the odds, raising them the way I want, in the most misfit manner. I am already (in the eye of our society who only wish to produce complying and GDP-focused bunch of people) a bad mother of two.

So tell me, how could I, this bad mother of two, possibly want another child for this country.

6.9 Does It

Just weeks ago, I was trying to convince Mr Hubby to sell off our property in Malaysia once the project is completed, all because I didn't want to be tempted to move out of my comfort zone. However, for the past few days, I have been thinking, like a lot...

Our world is so big, do we have to live our whole life in just one country - a tiny country?

Is life worth slaving yourself over money, just so that we can live comfortably? And would we still be comfortable when this little island is overrun?

What kind of children will mine grow up to be if I could raise them somewhere else? Will their development be more holistic? (I am against hothousing, this country's education never goes well with me.)

Would my family like a life somewhere else? Where?

And 6.9 was the magical number that got me all thinking.

Don't get me mistaken, I still love Singapore and I do kind of understand those men in white need to do what needs to be done. But then again, we all have a choice, don't we. So if opportunity knocks, I will like to embrace it, not dodge it.

Montigo Resorts - When terrible is an understatement

I booked for Montigo Resorts in Nongsa, Batam because I wanted to give my family an experience of a lifetime and boy; it was truly an experience of a lifetime, but in a negative way!

I had travelled and stayed in many high-end resorts and hotels for personal or business trip, nothing was as terrible as this resort. From the beginning to the ending of our stay, what we experienced were nothing close to what we paid for.

Days before our arrival, I wrote to the resort and ask for early check-in because we will be travelling with young children and an elderly mother, I was told they will try to accommodate my request. So when I arrived at local time 11.30am, after filling out the necessary forms and presented my credit card for check-in, the front-desk staff asked us to take a seat while he check my villa for me. We sat around the lobby and waited. And after half an hour, still no news from anyone from the resort, then my husband approached the front-desk again and this time another staff told us that the check-in is only at 3pm! 

We were unhappy with the answer. Firstly, I don't have to wait for more than 30 minutes to hear that the check-in is 3pm, because I already know, that's why I requested for early check-in and if early check-in is not possible, at least let us know immediately, not after such a long delay. We totally felt like fools sitting there waiting and waiting in vain.

When I confronted the front-desk personnel who did the check-in for me earlier, he said nothing and merely gave me a what-see-like an apologetic smile. WTF!

Knowing that we were unable to check-in, we decided to go to the town (some 40 minutes drive away) for lunch (my kids were starving already), but was told the free shuttle bus only operates in one timing - 10am to town and 4pm back from town to resort. We had to take our own transport there. So we arranged for a $26 per trip ride to town and reserved for our seats back from town with the resort shuttle bus.

When it was 4pm, the resort sent a tiny van to pick all of the guests up from the town. There were more than 20 people all squeezed into that tiny van, it sure spelled hazardous with a capital H! What’s the point of having reservation if the resort just can’t do simple math and had to use a tiny vehicle to pick all its resort guests, exceeding the vehicle’s maximum capacity and endangering the lives of all of us!

Local time was nearly 5pm, when we finally check into our villa. On the facade the villa looks luxurious, but upon closer inspection, you will noticed there are just loads of flaws. The wood of the dining table had split, the TV in the living room had its reception messed up and all channels were shown with 'snowflakes', one of the tap in the master bedroom had loosen, the glass door of the shower creaked badly whenever I tried to close it (and the door won't even stay shut) and our villa's pool was not exactly clean. You won't believe if I told you the resort had only open for business some two months ago. However, these aren't the worst.

What happened next was horrendous! On our first night, the air-con in the master bedroom made a constant vibrating noise. We just tried to ignore it and go to sleep, then around 5 plus in the morning, we were rudely awaken from our sleep by this loud rattling noise, it sounded as if the motor or the blades of the air-con and caught something. I quickly sprung from my bed and turned off the air-con. Then I found water dripped from the air-con onto the table we placed our belonging and my bag was soaked! Fortunately, our mobile phones and cameras were not kept inside my bag or they could have been damaged for sure.

We phoned the resort and told them that we had asked for someone to fix our TV since last evening and no one came (yes, after 12 hours, not a soul show up) and now the air-con is breaking down, they had to send someone over at this instance and we desperately needed house-keeping!

When we came back from our breakfast, only air-con was fixed, the villa was still in a mess and the TV hadn't been touched. I wanted to puke blood already.

On our last day, we were at the only restaurant in the resort for breakfast and suddenly it was pouring. We asked the staff from the restaurant to call us a buggy to send us back to our villa as we needed to pack and check-out soon. The staff took more than 15 minutes to call for the buggy and when I thought the buggy had finally arrived, the buggy left without us because there is a distance from the restaurant and the place the buggy stopped and as it was raining we had to wait in the restaurant, and each time the buggy comes, before we could get to it, it will assume that there isn't anyone needing it and drive away. After the third buggy left us stranded in the restaurant, we gave up and decided to walk back to our villa in the rain with 2 children and 1 elderly mother! Doesn’t that piss you off big time!

Throughout our 3D2N stay, we had to put up with slow responses or even no show when we request for something, lousy management and mediocre services. The grand finale came when we were at the counter checking-out and the resort bus took our bags and luggage and left without us to the ferry terminal! I tried to run after the bus like a mad woman. It was then, a staff from the resort told me he would contact the driver of the bus and we could pick up our belonging when we reached the ferry terminal in the next bus, but no apologies were given.

When we reached the ferry terminal, we managed to retrieve our stuff and I was just dying to get away from Batam and its Montigo Resorts as fast as possible. It has been the WORST Christmas I ever had in my entire life, thanks to Montigo Resorts!

And believe it or not, I came back to Singapore with a fever! What luck!

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.9

The Best Revenge

Haven't you heard? There is a Facebook page that was created not too long ago by this lady who lost her fiance to another woman, two months before their wedding day. It's so hyped up at the moment.

The protagonist is called Yuki, her FB page Alvin and Yuki is quickly going viral in the region, with more than 17 thousands people liking it till date (and the numbers continue to multiply) and thousands are gossiping talking about it (That was how I came to know about it.)

Yuki uses this FB page as an outlet to pour out her grievances as well as to dish out the dirt on his ex-fiance and his current squeeze, a young and pretty blogshop model, Zoe Raymond. As a result, many netizen crossed over to Zoe's FB and left her some of the most cruel and deadliest remarks. The way I see it, it's cyber-bullying at its best and I am not so sure if this girl, Zoe, deserves all these. Surely, she is no saint for seducing an almost married man, but remember, it takes two to tango.

Yuki VS Zoe

When it comes to a love triangle, naturally, the finger would be pointed at third party aka the slut (that's how the TV shows it most of the time). However, having been in that position unwittingly before (I didn't know he was married OK), I gotta tell you, sometimes it is the man who manipulates the situation and refuses to let go.

For a start, I do empathize with Yuki, because I know how terrible it must had been for her to have to go through the living hell of being betrayed by the person she loved most. Fact is, she reminded me of myself many years ago when I discovered that my ex-husband was cheating on me. And when he chosen to give up our marriage for the other party, I literally wanted to drop dead. However, I still won't endorse Yuki's FB page, because I believe the best thing she could do for herself right now is to simply let go of all these and just move on, not lingers upon it any further. The faster you de-associate your life with that heartless cad, the sooner your wounds heal.

In retrospect, I wasn't a perfect material to be anybody's wife back then. Sure, I made sacrifices and was caring and forgiving but on the other hand, I was complacent, unreasonable and arrogant, just to name a few. But then again, it's normal for us to see ourselves as perfect, even right up to the very day that we are being ditched!

Trust me, it wasn't easy for me to look back and realized that I played a part in the breakdown of our relationship. I am glad, I did. Without this self-reflection, I would still be that un-evolved bitch.

At the beginning of this month, my ex-husband and I met at a class gathering (we used to be classmates). When he left, one of the girls in our class, spoke to me with a sympathetic expression, "I heard about the two of you. Must have been hard for you to see him just now."

I couldn't help, but smile.

"I'm alright. Actually, I am really grateful for the experience that he gave me. If I would to re-live my life again, I wouldn't have change anything. If it wasn't for him (and her), I wouldn't be who I am today. I have learned a lot through it." I replied.

Indeed, I had. And I also have to thank her (the third party) for taking him away from me. I don't mean it as a cynicism, it's truly gratitude. I can't imagine how my life would be right now, if our paths hadn't crossed; I would still be stuck with an unfaithful man and would never have the chance to experience the loves of my life - my dearest hubby of present and our children.

In my opinion, the best form of revenge, is not creating a page in Facebook or start a blog for it. The best form of revenge is to LIVE A LIFE, WAY BETTER THAN BEFORE and walked away, laughing the last laugh.

I hope one day (maybe 5 or 10 years later), Yuki would look back at all these and realised that she have Zoe to thank for saving her from a lousy man, whom she probably didn't even love as much as she thought she did today.


Pictures credit:
http://www.zoeraymond.com/ and http://www.facebook.com/pages/Alvin-Yuki/

PPP Laser - Why you shouldn't go to them

I naturally have some light freckles, but after two pregnancies, those spots just grew and got a lot darker. I had my first laser done about three years back using MedLite at a local aesthetic clinic. After the third sessions (5 sessions in my package), my spots were virtually vanquished. The result was unexpectedly good, despite the slight discomfort during the process, which was tolerable for me.

After my last laser treatment two and half years ago, my skin remains relatively good except the freckles seem to be creeping back, probably because I go under the sun more often now (chasing after my kids).

Friends told me about a promotion at PPP Laser Clinic, where I only need to pay a fraction of the price I did with MedLite, to receive 25 times of laser treatments. I jumped at the chance, I thought I had discovered a GREAT buy. PPP Laser claims that it works for Pores, Pigmentations and Pimples. I had two out of the three concerns I want to see improvement for, I was really excited.

Twelve times of laser treatments later, the only difference I notice is my facial hairs - they are absolutely bleached; the spots and pores are, unfortunately, still here. Although a few people had commented that my skin looks more radiant, that might well be the work of the new SK-II LXP Perfecting Series that I had recently started using, instead of the benefit of the laser.

What leaves me flabbergasted is the service and their system, or should I say lack of it. When I just signed up for the package, I was told I could call and make appointment, so I did. Even with appointments, at times, I had to wait a freaking 30-mins before I was being attended to. Then low and behold, they changed it to NO APPOINTMENT, only walk-in. When you walk-in, there could be 20 or more people ahead of you and you might have to wait for over 2 hours, at the more popular outlets. All that waiting for just for a 2-mins laser treatment, I think it's insane! And that's not the worst, the treatment time also shrunk, instead of 2-mins, it is probably now, nothing more than a minute! I guess the doctors just can't wait to get us out of the clinic to ease the crowd.

And it's not just one outlet of PPP Laser Clinic that is disappointing, I have visited 4 different outlets and every outlet is the same; long waiting time, hasten laser process and insignificant results.

Whenever I mentioned about not seeing much improvement, the doctors would advise me to have patience and wait, or come for the treatment more often. And when I grumble about the long waiting time, the nurses would tell me, "Wait. Take a seat first."

I think PPP Laser should change its name to WWW Laser, because all I ever do is wait, wait and more wait!

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.9

Cheated!

Like many people, I have had leveraged on group voucher purchases to enjoy offers on food, beauty products, hair and nail services and many more. Most of my experiences are good, if not great, but recently, I had some horrible encounters with both the vendor and the group voucher company itself, which left a really bitter taste in me. *pui!

Let's talk about my first unpleasant experience. I bought a voucher from Streetdeal for what the merchant claimed as 'Cryolipolysis' slimming treatment.

From my understanding Cryolipolysis or better known as CoolSculpting is defined as using a medical device to destroy the fat cells through freezing and it is also a trademark registered by ZELTIQ Aesthetics, Inc..

I was excited to find such a good deal. I bought it and subsequently book the appointment with prestiousolutions at Cuppage Centre.

On the fateful day, I turned up at the salon on time and was really looking forward to finally able to try out CoolSculpting after many months researching on this non-invasive slimming, which is as close as it gets to liposuction. As usual, I had to fill up some forms and then the therapist led me into a room to change for the treatment.

When I was done changing, the therapist pushed a machine into the room, I instantly recognised that the machine looks nothing like what ZELTIQ produces. The therapist proceeded to chill me with a cooling probe attached to the machines which felt exactly like the cooling facial massager that my beautician would use on me for facial!

The therapist, while she was at it, tried to sell me the so-called 'slimming' treatment; explaining to me how this cooling effect would heightened my metabolism to help me burn up the fat. I know this is TOTALLY BULLSHIT! I know how adipocytes (fat cells) work, way better than YOU!

The true CoolSculpting works by freezing the fat cells and causing fat cells to crystalize and then die, not some enhancement of metabolism crap! This is definitely not going to achieve the same result because the temperature and the duration of the treatment is never going to be good enough to ever come close to it.

Although it only cost $59, but it's not entirely the money loss that I am upset about. I am pissed with how unscrupulous this merchant is, trying to cash in on the popularity of CoolSculpting and promoting a service nothing like it and most probably which will not ever work! I wasted one hour of my precious time for something I could have done on my own, at home with a bag of ice-cubes. WTF!

The second disgusting experience came from GROUPON! Surprise?! I always regarded GROUPON as being one of the most reputable and reliable group voucher company around, but regretfully they are just as crappy. On the same day, I bought the 'Cryoliposis wannabe service' from Streetdeal, I had also purchased a similar service voucher from Groupon for $128.

After being duped by Streetdeal and its merchant, I became very skeptical and decided to call up the vendor, Sure Solution and asked them about the device that they are going to use, because in their advertisement with Groupon, they had posted a video which shows ZELTIQ's CoolSculpting.

I was greatly disappointed when I learned that they, too, are not using the CoolSculpting device from ZELTIQ, even though the person on the line tried to convince me that their machine is similar. But when I pressed on, she started to hem and haw. Not a good sign.

I had done enough research to know that there is NO generic device that can replicate ZELTIQ's CoolSculpting's result as of current. I suspected this deal is going to be quite like a 'scam' too.

I wrote to Groupon to ask for a refund because I felt I was being misled and the vendor (and maybe even Groupon) had intentionally misrepresented the fact. I seriously regard this as false advertising!

At this point of time, Groupon had refused to do the refund, but they don't know who they are dealing with. I AM CINDY CHEONG. If you think I will just let it go so easily, you are so fucking WRONG!

It's not about the money anymore, it's about demanding to be treated right!


UPDATES:
As of 12 Oct 2012, GROUPON has agreed with the refund and offer to help if I have any further questions. I am satisfied with their service recovery. And being a fair consumer, I would definitely consider to patronise GROUPON in the future.

But I can't say the same for Streetdeal. They are truly disappointing. After I contacted them through the almighty Facebook, they agreed to investigate. Then shortly later, they posted this:

Click to enlarge

They argued that they have only stated using CoolSculpting technology through Cryolipolysis and not stated that the merchant is using the medical device by ZELTIQ Aesthetics, Inc. Therefore, they have not misled any customers.

OK. You might think well they do have a point. But wait till you hear this from me:

Click to enlarge

Apparently, both the term 'CoolSculpting' as well as 'Cryolipolysis' are trademarks belong to ZELTIQ. By using trademarks in their advertisement, how could they be still so adamant that they are not trying to misrepresent the facts. Disgusting bunch of morons!

The saga will continue...

More about its ugliness here!

HFMD - What a Horrible Disease!

I brought my kids to KKH on Monday because they were both burning with high fever. After x-rays and some routine checks, I was told Laetitia had middle-ear infection, Leonitus had mild lung infection. Just before we left, the doctor warned me about the ulcers in Leonitus' mouth and told me to keep a watch out for symptoms of HFMD. I shrugged; already one down with middle-ear infection and the other with lung infection, we wouldn't be that unlucky, would we??

The next morning, Leonitus woke us up, screaming as though his mouth was on fire. A shine of torchlight revealed hundreds, if not, thousands of tiny red spots all over his mouth and some big angry-looking ulcers lined his lips and throat. Oh my fucking Lord! We strike first prize, haven't we?!

I worked half-day and came home to a heart-wrenching sight. Leonitus's mouth must have been too painful for him to close, he was drooling all over and crying at the same time. The pain must have been so excruciating that he completely goes off food and drink. In order to encourage him to drink to prevent dehydration, I bought him Ribena (normally, I wouldn't allow my children to go near unhealthy sweetened beverage), he was so eager to drink it, but the moment the fluid entered his mouth, he shrieked at the top of his voice and then big fat tears gushed out from his eyes.

That same evening, a trip to his paediatrician confirmed that it is HFMD. No surprise at the diagnosis.

Leonitus would spent more than 80% of his waking hours, whining and crying and wearing a look of complete anguish. I tried to distract him with TV, but with little success. Forcing him to drink water often resulted in him howling like a wolf in great distress. He is really such a sorry sight.

After all those tears and fussiness, he would become so exhausted and zonked out on my bed, only to wake up abruptly just moment later from the pain in his mouth. This went on and on throughout the night, like some cycle of nightmares which we are unable to wake up from. It was horrible!

His mouth must have hurt him so immensely, he actually gave up his pacifier at bedtime. He just clenched onto his pacifier tightly and went to sleep holding it in his hand instead of sucking it in his mouth.

I can't believe this is only Day 2 of the living hell; I was told it would take no less than one week to recover. Strength, I need to borrow some strength!! *tearing my hair out.

Pre-vacation

It's supposed to be really exciting, counting down to our roadtrip, this Friday. But the kids are not in their pinkest of health.

The big one has a really congested nose and mysterious rashes that comes and goes, the small one has a chesty cough that sound pretty nasty and his inhaler is back in action. And I just swallowed two panadols and a flu tablet after sensing a cold on the way.

Please let us all get better after a good night rest.

*fingers + toes crossed*

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4

In the mood for love

My husband travels for work all the time, I should have gotten quite used to it by now. But why do I suddenly miss him so much tonight?

Normally I would be quite delighted to have the entire bed to myself to roll in, but now it seems rather empty without him. Gosh, I don't think I can sleep on my own. *sob*

Wait a minute...

OK. I think I get it. I am ovulating. 

Damn those hormones!

The Terrible 2s

My son just turned two, a couple of weeks back.

First, let me tell you a time when he was just a baby; he was simply godsend!

Leonitus was the type of baby that everyone would love to have. He was always smiling, very easy-going and very calm. I could just leave him on a play mat and he would play on his own and then fell asleep on the mat when he was tired. When he woke up, he would simply continue to entertain himself on the play-mat. He would drop off to sleep in the evening on his own, no need endless rocking (btw, I had never allow "sarong" in my home). By midnight, I would give him his last feed by sticking the bottle into his mouth while he was still very much asleep and he would finish off his milk without waking up! Don't have to burp him or change his diaper, he would just sleep throughout the night and then wakes up next morning cheery. Having such a baby was even better than winning 4D!

Two years later... what happen now?

I have got this screaming toddler who bounce himself off the bed, the table, the sofa and almost everywhere! He either crawls under the clothes racks or ran off in the opposite direction when I tried to shop. He checks out every electrical appliances whenever he could lay his hands upon. He howls louder than 10 wolves combined when I dish out punishment.

He is now making us pay for being the perfect baby he was - with interests, lots and lots of interests!! God, when is this going to end....

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4

Suddenly Friday

Had a really busy week; training 4 full days in a roll and before I know it, it's FRIDAY!! WOOHOO!!

This past week, every netizens seemed to be talking about the horrible video where a toddler was ran over by 2 vehicles and was ignored by 18 morons who treated her as though she was some injured strays. I am no evil person but I do wish to see that they hang the first driver because he is every bit of a sociopath and he shouldn't deserve to be living among humans. Read about his dialogue with a reporter here. I am sure you will feel disgusted by his lack of morality.

The little girl is finally free from all her pains and sufferings and moved on to a better place, even though I don't believe in heaven, I think this is still better for her.

Myself, I had a crappy evening (T_T) But I felt so much more at peace with myself now after power-walking continuously for 90mins.

Since, the weekend is round the corner, maybe life shouldn't be all so dark and sinister after all. Here are some of my mobile randomness that reminds me that the world can still be a wonderful place sometimes...

I made gluten-free bread for my two kids who suffer from food intolerance. Not delicious, but I made with it with love.

Stopping at the traffic lights, I looked over my shoulders and saw this funny sight - Laetitia completely
'concussed'.

Love my new trainers. Love the quirky color combo of my workout gears!

Finally, the serenity of a sleeping child. I should feel so blessed. So blessed.
.
.
.

NO to More Babies and NO to Tiger Mom!

Can the revised Baby Bonus Package of Singapore entices women to have more children?

Definitely not me. THERE SHALL BE NO MORE BABIES FROM ME!

Why? Singapore is a clean and safe place, with high social and economic stability. Ironically it is also a terrible place to raise young children when you are a working mother from a middle-income family.

There are 168 hours in a week. I use 52 hours for working and commuting between home and office. My children use 84 hours for sleeping and napping, another 10 hours wasted on eating very slowly, poo-ing, throwing those much needed tantrums and other nonsense. That leave me with 3 hours a day for my children which also means each of my child gets only slightly over a hour of my time on a daily basis. What magical parenting do you expect out of me, a mother like that? It frightens me to imagine splitting those 3 minimal hours further with an addition of another baby. And did you notice that I had already run out of time for myself?!

4 out of 5 women whom I know returned to work after their maternity leave because there is a huge pressure to earn more money as raising a child in Singapore can be really expensive. But not before long, they become tormented by the fact that no amount of money can buy them time to spend with their children, even though money is still pretty essential for a comfortable home.

Because of the decision to return to the workforce, we, the working mothers often rely on domestic helpers and childcare centres to do most of the child-minding while we slog our butts off so that we can be qualify for some form of government incentives/relief which aren't of too much help.

Then when our children are older, we need to work even harder because there would be enrichment activities like swimming, dancing, drama, marital arts, music and not forgetting tuition, all offered to make parents who don't sign up on them seem like one really BAD parent.

Later, there is the stress of finding a top primary school and even if your child managed to squeeze into one, it would just means more stress to come.

Spelling, tests, examinations! Parents are expected to coach the kids no matter how drained our brains are after a long day at work, so that our children can score perfect 10 in their spellings and excel in all tests and exams. If you don't do it, you will be perceived as a lousy parent who don't care about your kids' education.

To avoid being judged, parents worshipped "Kiasu-ism" like as if it is some form of God. Parents who spent the night camping outside a preschool's gate so that they can enroll their child into the popular preschool are regarded as heroes by the other equally kiasu parents. In my opinion, that's just pure madness! It's just a fucking preschool, do you need to get so serious??

The educational system here is unforgiving! It is at best breeding clever morons who are apathy towards everything, except the Internet and video games! Schools are always about grades and positions; they are weak in character-building, put zero effort in talent appreciations and there is nothing empowering whatsoever. Everyday is filled with endless chores of homework, learning spelling, doing revisions and going for tuition, tuition and MORE tuition!! It's no wonder why kids associate learning to boredom and why they grow up totally clueless of what they want in their lives.

Yesterday, I asked a friend of mine, who is working mom, out, I told her I am flexible and she could choose any evening between Monday to Thur. She was apologetic as she couldn't make it on any of the given days, unless it's school holidays because her son had tuition everyday from Mon to Wed and Thur evening is dedicated to coach her son on spelling.

Her son is only in Primary 1 and he is technically not even 7 yet (born at the end of the year)!

I was beginning to become freakishly mortified!

I don't want to have my son facing the alphabets chart, the moment he learns to stand. I don't want to force my daughter to recognize some stupid Chinese characters, I HATE Chinese just as much! I don't want to be the one to tear my hair out teaching my children Maths. Numbers KILL! And I certainly do not look up to Tiger Mom, Amy Chua's dictatorial way of parenting. I think mom like her is the reason why some kids grow up psychotic.

I want to spent my very precious and limited time outside my work, with my children doing fun things that teaches about the essence of living, laughing at their silliest jokes and watching them grow, enjoy their childhood and letting them form their own identities. And then be proud of them no matter what their lives amount to be in the future, as long as they grow up to be a resilient and independent individual.

Ultimately, I don't want to breed some "champion show dogs" that looks great on the outside but suck at being wholesome. That's not how I envisioned parenting to be.

So ... does that make me a bad mother already?

The Paradox

I remember I started blogging regularly when my memory kept failing me because of my addiction to sleeping pills and some anti-anxiety drug. I found blogging a good way to archive pieces of my life that I render worth remembering.

That had been some 5 or 6 years back. Now blogging has become a way of life for me, it is a mean for me to stay connected to my friends because my social life after 2 kids had been reduced to null. It was therapeutic to blog about adversities; it brought about a sense of deliverance. Blogging has remained as one of my best self-administrated psychotherapy, most importantly it is drug-free.

The years of blogging has brought about a good stream of readers to my 'explicit world'. I get an average of 100 hits per day but I can only relate to a very small fraction of these people because there have been only 21 identifiable person who follows my blog publicly. And add another dozen of my friends who told me they read my blog like some publication whenever they are free because it is entertainment at zero cost.

So until the day I die or stop blogging, which ever comes first, I wouldn't have really know who has been peeping into my life on a regular basis. At times, this mysteriousness intrigues the hell out of me.

Having said that, I am uncomfortable with the idea of having someone walking up to me, doing a revelation in the middle of a busy street. NO, although I maybe curious but I don't want that. Why? Because I think I am not diplomatic to handle such a situation. I am not ready. Not prepared. I suck at it, even to my own surprise.

When Laetitia's principle and one of my ex-boss told me that they read an entry from my blog, I lost my tongue to the cat, even though I was feeling quite honored. I hadn't expect them, person-of-authority, to care to read my silly blog. That instance, a sense of embarrassment overwhelmed me. Why the fuck? I don't understand why I felt that way, but I do. I think I need lesson/coaching to fix this before folks start suspecting that I ain't the writer of this blog, judging from my uneasiness.

I like the spike in traffic to my blog but it made me feel more exposed. It is paradoxical.

Recently, things started to get a little bit creepy for me. My best friend, L, told me that one day, her co-worker from another department whom she is not too chummy with, spoke to her about me, She told L that she reads my blog and it happened that I mentioned about L in one of my entry, that was how she knew L is my friend. WOooaaAH! I am that famous already?!?!

Then today, something made my skin crawled. I received a message in my FB's inbox from a stranger. This was how it goes:

Stranger : hey... r u still blogging? :)
Me : yes. stil blogging.
Stranger : icic... juz saw... anyway, mind adding me? haha.. if nt is ok.. :)
Me : sori, it is reserved for people whom i know as friends beyond the virtual world.
Stranger : oic.. understood... well..i tink i saw u b4 bt nv approached u... my eldest sis stays at 'The Warren' last time... saw u a couple times... wif ur baby

WOW!! I WAS TOTALLY FREAKING OUT!!!!!!!!!

Because whenever I bring my kids downstairs, I have NO makeup, wore T-shirt and shorts that I would normally wear to bed and my hair is like... some bird nest!! And there are times I probably have not even showered!! And this stranger can recognize me in that horrid state??!!

I do feel a little stalked with that message. Yes, I am no celebrity but still..... it doesn't feel too good to know that I was been watched, even though I am public about my private life.

Please. Do me a favour. Don't catch me when I am looking the worst of my worst. Don't "hi" me. Don't introduce yourself. Don't smile. Don't look at me. JUST WALK ON!

If you like what you read on this blog, just click the "FOLLOW" button and put a face to it. It would mean so much to me knowing who you are, in this civil and subtle manner. The button is at the right-hand side of the blog. Go find it.

Positive Parenting - Why some parents just won't do it?

Laetitia has been put on Singulair too, because she had caught the virus and is wheezing just as much as Leonitus. So with her already challenging personality, Singulair just made a much BIGGER monster out of her. Isn't parenting exciting or what!

When she accidentally dropped her cake at Leonitus' birthday bash yesterday, she burst into tears and was howling as though the world was coming to an end. Luckily, there was this 7 or 8 year old little boy, who is my cousin-in-law's son; he comforted Laetitia and tried to cheer her up by giving his own little charm (the ornament on the cupcake that Laetitia was really into collecting) to Laetitia.

I was very impressed. I praised the boy and turned to his mother, told her how proud she must be of her son. However, I was surprised by what this mother had to say, "Aiya, he is like that. Very 'kaypoh' (busybody) one." The boy was deflated like a balloon upon hearing those words. "She (referring to his mother) is always like that. Whenever I helped somebody, she will say that I am a 'kaypoh'." The boy pouted at his mother being unsupportive.

I found myself jumping to the boy's defence, "No. I certainly think that your son is really nice." I hadn't give a thought if I would be coming across as offensive to this mother. I turned to the boy and told him, "Remember this. Compassion is your strengthen. You must feel proud of yourself and carry on being who you are regardless of what other tells you." The boy nodded and let out a weak smile.

I seriously do not understand why some parents do what they do. Putting their own kid down in front of others when he was actually being good?!?! Don't tell me this is Asian parents' way of teaching humbleness, I find that absolutely MORONIC! And coming from that mother who is highly educated and holding a respectable job?! I simply had to sigh.

When they are good, just fucking tell them that they are good!! Reinforcing positiveness is such an easy parenting tool. I see parents choosing punitive methods and humiliation as a form of discipline over positive reinforcement. Why do they even go there?!

I am an anti-spanking mother. I never hit my children but that doesn't mean I am being permissive and my children can push me around. HELL NO!! I just don't see what canning, whacking and smacking can possibly do to teach a child the proper way to behave because hurting another person physically ain't proper either!

I hear you, some parents, saying that the only method of discipline they ever know is the cane. Why don't you just fucking go and buy a book on positive discipline and then just follow the methods!? The truth is: parents who hit their kids are just losers who cannot contain their own anger. They probably need anger management themselves!

There will be parents out there who thinks I am just this fortunate arse who has well-behaved children that is why I don't have to resort to spanking them. I can't tell you how wrong you are to even think in such a way.

So if you think you child is naughty, is wilful, is lazy, is stupid, then he/she WILL BE! That is self-fulfilling prophecy at its very best. Money Back Guarantee!! To have better behaved children, the parent must first have their paradigm shifted.

I choose to believe that my children are fundamentally good, but at times they misbehave. I choose to believe they have good characters and it is then my duty to help shape them further. And no, that doesn't require smacking at all.

I know... the pro-smacking parents are looking to gun me down after this entry. Like I would care!! No fuck!