Being a SAHM

I had always wish to be a Stay At Home Mom (aka SAHM). How can I not? I love Laetitia to death, I wanted to bring up my own kids, be a housewife, cook dinner for the family. And I always thought I would be very competent because I can cook a decent meal, clean up the house better than some maids and I pretty much enjoy doing everything for my child. Moreover I am very independent.

Then Laetitia broke her arm last Thursday, so I took leave to stay at home to look after her. And boy, these few days alone changes the way I think. I begin to doubt my own ability. Have I been thinking too highly about myself, as a mom??

Having a broken arm, Laetitia has become slightly more difficult and whines doubly more than usual. And I am not feeling my best either, being close to my third trimester, my tummy is bigger and I am clumsier than ever, plus I had not been feeling well for the last 2 weeks ago. On top of all that physical aliments, Mr Hubby is away on business trip for the entire week. I am left alone to fend for myself, luckily I have a good helper. So I do not need to lift a finger on the housework, nor to cook.

To be honest, if I don't have my domestic helper, I seriously do not know how to make it through this week. Imagine, being unwell, having to do all the household chores, cook, look after Laetitia, it would be some gruelling 24/7 shit to get through by myself. I think I would end up dead.

When you have too much on your plate, it hard to be a good parent. And I want to be a good parent, not someone who gets resentful and ended up "kao peh kao bu" at her kid all day long, or worst, smack the child, which I am totally against.

This week had been an eye-opener for me. The reality checker forced my eyes opened and made me realised that I would be a better parent when I am a working mom who devotes my annual leaves and off days, playing my share of the role of the full-time mommy, minus all the houseworks. Hahaha...

Plus I do like what I do at work. So SAHM, maybe later.


Laetitia and my helper, on an afternoon where we went out for lunch and she broke a bowl in the restaurant. Haiz... It quite the norm and we are used to her "surprises" by now.

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That day I was watching Rachael Ray and there was a story about a single-dad whose wife passed away suddenly (some 27 hours after giving birth to their beautiful little bundle of joy). This dad blog about his daily struggle and how he manage to overcome obstacles to bring up his daughter, despite being a lonesome parent. I totally salute this dad!

murder + suicide

I was deeply disturbed by this news from the TV earlier; about this father who set his home on fire, killing his 2 children before commiting suicide.

I don't understand. If you want to die,
then go and die
; why kill your own flesh and blood?

How can a parent bear to slaughter his/her own children? Is that action only capable by a beast? Just what the fuck was he thinking of?

Bloody Mess

I hadn't been well since last Friday, and because I am a preggy, my medicines are nothing but the mildest, which explains why I am not getting any better.

Last night, I had this massive bleeding from my nose. The blood was flowing out of my nose like a uncontrollable tap. When I pinched my nose to try stopping it, blood then gushed into my mouth instead and it had me gagged and threw up. It went on for more than 10 minutes, non-stop. The bathroom sink was looking like a crime scene straight out of CSI, complete with blood splatters all over.

These blood-stained tissue papers in the bin were just a tiny fraction of what I had used. I think I finished an entire box.


Mr Hubby was worried and had me escorted to the doctor. Laetitia was just as freaked out and kept saying, "Mama.. pain.. pain.." My poor girl, I must have frightened her quite a bit there.

I came back from the clinic with gauze stuffed into my nostrils and tape stuck to my nose. By then the bleeding had stopped.

Just as I thought, all was well, this afternoon, my nose turned on its bloody tap again. I was sitting in front of the telly and I felt a strange taste in my mouth. I licked the back of my hand and it was blood. Seconds after that, the blood from my nose was flowing down to my chin. I ran to the toilet and made a bloody mess out of it again.

I hope this is not gonna happen again when I return to work tomorrow. Imagine how embarrassing to see me holding my nose with a pair of bloody hands in the middle of a meeting!

Oh my, I hope I do recover soon....

I PASSED!

YES!! I PASSED MY DRIVING....

... with my 1st try, when I am 6mth pregnant and that's on top of me fallen sick at the very last minute. (I was down with a horrible sore throat, cough and blocked nose on Sunday.)

Nothing can stop me, I was all geared up to pass in one single take, knowing that my gynae would not write me a second letter to allow me to have another go if I fail.

And I have only 14 demerit points in total. Actually my results could have been even better, if not for this KNN MPV who accelerated when I signal to cut into his lane. The bugger sped up and I also hit the gas pedal lah. And that cost me 12 points for "abrupt lane change" and "causing other driver to slow down". Luckily, I was just 2 traffic junctions away from the driving school.

Nevertheless, I am so proud of myself for passing basic theory, final theory and practical, all in one take.

Next week, when Mr Hubby goes out of town, I might be able to hit the road with his car.

WOOHOO!!!!

God bless the other drivers on the road!

My Fav Show - THE MENTALIST

I am a sucker for crime shows on the telly. I am glued to CSI, Criminal Minds, Without A Trace, Cold Case and recently I fall in love with The Mentalist.

The show has very intriguing story, interesting casts, filled with lots of twists and turns that are bound to take you by surprise and it is also very very witty. And yes, I won't deny that I am really attracted to the character, Patrick Jane. He is charismatic, humorous but at the same time dark, mysterious and devoted.

There was a scene, last Tues evening, that had me burst out laughing loudly even though I was watching the show alone. (Watch the second part on the Youtube video.)

Suspect: .... Because I can make one phone call and your career is toasted.

Agent Cho: That's impressive. The best I can get with one call is a PIZZA....

Daddy and his little girl

Mr Hubby told me this story about the Dad who caught a prized souvenir of a foul ball during a baseball game and gave it to her daughter, only to have her thrown it back into the pit.

The Dad was shocked by what her daughter did but was neither angry nor upset; he just went on to hug his daughter and this heartwarming scene was watched by millions over Youtube and other various channels. And it also melted Mr Hubby's heart.



Then on the other hand, we have this Father From HELL who bashed his little girl to death, all because he caught her playing with his stupid cigarettes. The little girl was a month short of her second birthday and she never live to blow out those candles. It's such a tragedy to have beast living among us.

I am eternally grateful to have Mr Hubby; he has always been a wonderful father to Laetitia. I like to watch them when they are together. Mr Hubby is so patient and caring towards her and Laetitia adores her Daddy just as much.

Secretly, I am suspecting that Mr Hubby loves Laetitia more than me, but it's okay, I can live with that. Nothing beats having the BEST father I can get for our little girl.

Thank you dear, for loving us.

Sick of Looking Like This

I was looking at some pictures that were taken last year and can't help but notice just how drastic pregnancy had changed me or maybe... 'destroyed' me. I had metamorphosed from this sexy hot mama to now... some creature that resembles the hybrid of a penguin and hippopotamus!

I had put on a massive 18kg in 6 months. And I still have another 3 more months to go! It's unthinkable! I am definitely going to cross the 20kg mark this time round. And damn those stretchmarks!

I have gotten so goddamn disgusted with the sight of my boobs and tummy! I can't wait to pop and then I can go on a diet and shed all this weight. But having put on so much more than my last pregnancy, I am a little worried. What if I can't go back down to my pre-natal weight? Would I have bits of fats hanging onto me forever?

ARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!! CAN DIE!!

NO!!! I can't have this happening to me.

I am going to need a MAJOR overhaul after giving birth. I think I would have to save up for lipo, RF and also some minor but invasive surgeries to regain my look. I think I also want a higher nose bridge and some cheek bones might be good too.

I am vain? You bet! After looking like some fat-ass auntie for more 9 months; it's only fair that I do something after this to look better than before.

Erm..... Anyone want to sponsor?? 20K should be enough. hehehe....