It's Who I Marry, Not How I Marry

Last Sunday was a special day for my hubby and I; we celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary. Six years isn't exactly a long time, but it is enough for me to know what a lucky bitch I am, to be married to a wonderful man who loves and take good care of me and our family.

That afternoon, we were out at a relative's wedding luncheon and someone asked him, "Where are you going to celebrate your wedding anniversary later?" He tried to keep everyone in suspense, including me and replied, "Don't know. Maybe some hawker centre." He refused to tell me where we were going even when I told him I need some clues in order to decide what to wear. Well, that was typical of him, always likes giving me surprises, and always succeeds.

So, when we reached Singapore Flyer, I was half convinced that we were going to have dinner at Singapore Food Trail, which is a food court featuring many Singaporeans favourite hawker dishes.

Then he led me to the Flyer Lounge and smirked when I asked, "Aren't we going to have my favourite Satay Beehoon, Cuttlefish Kang Kong and Poh Piah?"

The panoramic view of Marina Bay Sands bathed in the setting sun welcomed us. The lounge access is exclusive, making the whole Sky Dining experience very VIP-like.

We relaxed and chilled out at the lounge until our dining capsule was ready for express boarding. No queue - how cool!

We shared the capsules with 3 other couples, but it was still very private compared to having dinner in a restaurant. And not to mention, the view was to die for. But as I thought we were going to eat in the hawker centre, I didn't prepare a camera!

The food was alright, not quite for the gourmet critic, but very filling. Hubby order lamb for me (he knows I love lamb) and chicken for himself. We dined through two rotations, which was about approximately an hour. It was very romantic and view was truly breathtaking, although this dinner was a bit too pricey - close to $300!

What present do you get for a man who has everything? I have no idea, so I dedicated my second short story to him as our anniversary present. What a brilliant money-saving move! Hahaha... No. I am not that stingy. His present is late; I ordered it quite some days back but and hadn't know that the delivery would take forever.

In retrospect, we didn't have a big wedding, no customary practices, no grand dinner in a hotel (just a simple ROM reception), but all those are not important to me or us. The fact is - My life just gets more and more awesome each day because of who I marry, not how I marry. And for that, I am eternally grateful already.

This thing called LOVE

Some days back I posted this picture of my hubby holding my hand while we were travelling in our car on Instagram. It topped my personal chart for most 'likes' I ever gotten on my Instagram.

But I do want to clarify that we are not really that lovey-dovey all the time. I guess being Asian, (we can use the excuse well that) we are conservative and do not show our affections publicly as often as we really should.

With divorce rate on the rise, infidelity spreading like some wild fire; more and more people are derailing because their relationships/ marriages had became so stale and whatever feelings that put them together fade with changing lives and passing of time. Some just want to seek excitement of the chase, while others desire the thrill of the pursuit. 

So, is it worth it, Michael Palmer? I wanna know, but I supposed, he will never tell.

I had to confess I did feel like that too, but it was in the past. I wasn't exactly the most faithful partner in my last two relationships. I could always argued that I cheat, because they cheated on me first. But that's just a sick, twisted perspective, which is all so wrong.

Then as I grew older wiser, I begin to realise that love is...

Not the passionate kisses.

Not the hot and sweaty making outs. (I know my hubby would disagree to this.)

Not those sweet words you whisper. (Though I really like to hear them sometimes.)

Not the feeling of 'butterflies in your tummy'.

Not the electrifying current when kisses landed on your neck. (Hmm.. but that sure feels good. Haha..)

Not the romantic candle-light dinners or luxurious gifts. (But a Chanel 2.55 is always welcome.)

Not the sensational slow dance.

Not the roses or lilies or whatever flowers you could receive.

Not the desire to touch or hold each other.

Not saying "I have loved you for 1000 years, I'll love you for a 1000 more." (But I'm still a Twilight fan.)

Not spending all the time in the world together. (C'mon, get a life!)

Not how you look into each other's eyes or see eye to eye in everything. (It'll make you 'pah-jiao'.)

Not the money that is splurged on you. (If you give me cash, I'll just take it.)

Not the length of time that you are together.

No, not even responsibility or commitment. (But you gonna need these two.)

So what exactly is love??

For me. It is coming to term, to embrace the fact that HE is a part of ME….

Not part of my life.. but PART OF ME!

So, what is this thing called love, for you?

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5 years

Some nights back, before our 5th wedding anniversary, I asked Mr Hubby, "Dear, how are we celebrating our anniversary this year?" He replied jokingly, "This year no budget lah."

I pouted my lips, then answered,"OK lor, don't need to buy me flowers or gifts lor." 

Actually, I am totally understanding; we had just taken on a financial commitment on something big and important, so frugality is good for now.

But in the end, he still got me a stalk of rose.

We celebrated our 'wood' wedding anniversary a day earlier (because we are having a 10K run this Sunday and was trying to avoid alcohol the day before the run). We headed to Clark Quay to have dinner at this contemporary Japanese restaurant, San Sui. It is very different from the authentic Japanese cuisine, the food is modern Japanese with a twist of fusion. It was kind of refreshing but quite expensive!

After dinner, we went into a random pub and found ourselves at Aqua Nova, where we had beers, buffalo wings, live band and even stole some kisses in the dark. 

We made way for the hardcore club-goers and left the place when it was close to midnight. Hate to admit, but our clubbing days are long over.

5 years, isn't a long time, but it is long enough for me to know that I have married a fabulous guy! Happy Anniversary and I love you, my dear hubby!

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Advice For My Son

My dear son,

No matter how beautiful your girlfriend might appeared to be.

 (Picture from http://blog.sina.com.cn/lingluannini) 

Never marry her until you have seen her without her makeup!

 (Picture from http://blog.sina.com.cn/lingluannini)

Better still, choose someone who is willing to be photographed bare-faced.

Like ME, your mother! Hahaha..

Relationships are like Shoes

That, on top, is our shoes cabinet, and my shoes take up to 90% of the space. From the numbers of shoes I have, you could guess how many relationships I have had if 'relationships are like shoes'. 

Like the shoes that I owned, I did had many suitors when I was single. Some looked gorgeous but were terribly uncomfortable. Some were comfortable but plain boring or ugly or both! Some lasted for a couple of months and then fell apart suddenly. Some just don't feel right, even friends noticed my limp. Some made me look good but cost me too much to maintain them. And of course there were some which were very attractive but the moment I wore them, they HURT!

Seriously, I am not that promiscuous. Really! I only had/have three serious and long relationships which lasted 7.5 years, 5.5 years and another one, over 5 years and counting.

My first relationship was like this pair of heeled rain-boots. Flashy but cheap! (Cost me less than $30). He seemed sturdy and strong; I had thought he could protect me from rain and storms but he made me slipped and fell when I let my guard down. It took me ten years to get back up on my feet again.

He is now on someone else's feet, I wish her luck. Hopefully this lady has better balance than me.

My second relationship was love at first sight. How could I not, he was so cute-looking. Polka-dots and ribbons were simply too irresistible for me. The moment I got into him, I realised that this pair of shoes was flawed. The right side couldn't stand properly on its own, he needed to be supported all the time, he exhausted me. He wobbled and threatened to give way, he gave me too much insecurities.

I took him off and walked away bare-footed. It hurts at the instance, but it was for the better and I was right.

I swear, I wasn't going to buy another pair of shoes. I was depressed because shoes make me happy! Don't call me superficial!

Then came my third and final relationship. He is genuine (or at least this pair of shoes is made of genuine leather). With little details, timeless design, simplicity and comfort, he took me to places that I could only dream of in the past. He is good for all occasions - shopping, working, out with the kids, I just want to wear him wherever I may go.

He is the one I am keeping for the years to come.

So how do your shoes make you feel today?

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偷情 (An Affair)

I had one of the most splendid weekends, celebrating my hubby's sweet 28 birthday (after 22% discount off his actual age, which I can't disclose here).

It was so hard to buy my hubby a birthday present, for he has EVERYTHING! But it was his birthday, and I was all out to give him something special that he would love and treasure the memories it brings.

So I planned for this: 偷情!

(I was told 95% of men would have an affair, at least once in his life. So he might as well have it with me.)

I pretended I was only bringing him out for dinner when I had actually made elaborated plan to spend a night with him, just him, an attractive man (completely burying the fact that he is my husband). I wanted to be crazily in love with him on the night before his birthday, as well as for him to be irresistible of me - a gorgeous woman, not just his wife or the mother of his children.

We dined in a place we had never been before; a place, quiet and secluded yet centralized and convenient. Then went to a cosy lounge to get tipsy, we flirted from time to time. And we ended our night recreating passionate moments in the sensual Scarlet Hotel. Throughout the night, we made effort to steer clear of conversation about our kids; just us - as lovers.

The next morning, we had brunch at Maxwell Food Centre, before returning back to our roles as parents, going home and celebrated his birthday surrounded by the loves of our children.

It had been a truly sensational escapade for us and I am so looking forward to his next birthday when I can 偷情 with my hubby again.

Going Beyond "I Do"

I like attending weddings; it has a magical effect on me. Seeing the brides walking down the aisle in lacy white gowns, I almost wanted to believe in those fairytale’s happily-ever-after crap.

Every time, I read Snow White or Cinderella or Rapunzel to my young daughter, I would roll my eyes when I reached the end of the story. “… the Prince married the princess and they lived happily ever after.”

Can you believe the kind of poison that was seeded into our young minds when we were children and later bloomed into the most unrealistic expectation we have on marriage? We were made to believe that marriage is the only key to end our miserable lives but on the contrary, marriage can be the beginning of nightmares for some women.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against holy matrimony. In fact, I am a believer of it. But women (even some men) must be clear that happily-ever-after does not come automatically after saying “I do”.

It would takes many ‘ingredients’ (love alone is never enough) like commitment, faith, courage, loyalty, understanding, care, concern and throw in some pragmatic elements like financial stability, status/economic compatibility and even some tears must be shed, to concoct marital bliss.

So unless you are living with seven dwarfs, have a fairy godmother and your hair is ten miles long, you have better start putting in efforts to create your own happily-ever-after.

And as for me, I didn’t have a lavish wedding, just a warm and humble reception surrounded by people who loves me. It has been four years and two kids, with fair amount of ups and downs, and I am still feeling happy.

How we do it? Simple but fun stuff, like sneaking out to catch a show when the kids have fallen asleep (with another caregiver at home), exploring new places for dinner, just the two of us so it feels like we are still in courtship. Doesn't even have to be often, just once a month or two. Have a hobby or do something that you both enjoy. For us, we run. And it is never too late to start; I only started exercising with Mr Hubby two months ago!

Lastly, never expect your spouse to change for you, instead, have your own life and do everything a woman possibly can to look good. Because a happy wife = a happy marriage. That gives me all the more reason to buy more new shoes and dresses! How can I not be happy!?

Becoming Gym Rats

For the last couple of months, Mr Hubby has suddenly transformed himself into a fitness fanatic. He would hit the gym or the pool almost every evening. And he seems to have become quite narcissistic too. I watched as he sucks in his tummy and admires his own reflection in the mirror.

Hmmm.... So I had to ask him, "Why are you suddenly so into working out?"

"Because I want to attract younger and prettier women." came his reply.

Gosh!! So, is my marriage heading for trouble??!! Should I be depressed??

Guess what, instead of letting insecurity slowly murdering me and our marriage; I have decided to become Mr Hubby's fitness partner.

Few days back, we were chilling out by the pool after our gym session, Mr Hubby let me in to the real reason for starting to get active. He said he was mortified by the fact that many people around him (including myself) were struck by diseases and he didn't want to lead a sedentary lifestyle, wanting for diseases to manifest anymore. And he also wanted to be a role model for our children, encouraging them to grow up healthy and active.

OK. So my marriage is not doom after all. Perhaps, I should keep away my track shoes and go back to my ice-creams and telly. NOT.

The above picture was taken by Mr Hubby on my first day of fitness partnership, which he posted to his FB page with comment "New workout partner, hope she is not making guest appearance only..."

It has been 4 days, and I must admit, I am feeling GREAT!

4 years and counting

It only seemed like yesterday that I chatted over the Internet with this ex-schoolmate whom I have never spoken to, back in school. And then last night, we celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary. It is so surreal that I had been so blissfully married to this man for four years already!

He had a lovely bouquet of my favorite white roses delivered to my office. Then I was picked up and whisked to a secret location for wine and dine when I got off work.

We had a bottle of champagne, followed by a bottle of white wine on the top of Singapore, at Altitude. The view from our table was magnificent! It has been such a long time since the two of us hung out at bar; without the kids, everything seemed so much more romantic!

Mr Hubby might not be perfect but he is perfect for me. He is everything I am not; he is like logic, while I represent absurdity. And together, we make life a little more balanced.

Since Mr Hubby travelled at lot for work, some friends were concerned and asked if I am ever worried about bitches and sluts stealing him from me. To me, marriage is about respect and trust; and I believe Mr Hubby would feel the same way about it too.

But anyway, sluts or no sluts, he had already been stolen away from me by Iphone and Ipad 2! He holds them more than he holds me! LOL!!

Obedient Wives Club

What can you do to prevent your husband from being unfaithful?

Become his prostitute! No, not just any street hooker but a first-class "elite-type" one. This is the solution given by the V.P of the controversial Obedient Wives Club. OWC was first set up in Malaysia, then Indonesia; it proclaimed to be able to cure all social ills from divorce to incest to prostitution, as long as the wives are submissive and keep their husbands busy with some of the most mind-blowing sex!

She went on to say, "...as wives, we must treat our husbands better. It’s not just in bed, but everything that a wife can offer. Optimise your role. If we provide our husbands more than a prostitute can give, then our husbands will not go out looking for it.”

Sure. Only if the husband can pay the wife top dollars too. Do you have any idea how much it will cost a man to engage the service of that first-class "elite type" of prostitute, who can make him feel like a million buck, both in and out of bed? An overnight session with a social service escort in Singapore will cost somewhere around $5000-$8000. Don't believe me. Just google it. 

There had been news that OWC might be setting up a branch here in Singapore. So do our husbands really want elite prostitute type of wives? My take is: then invest in your wives. Because if you don't, you will only end up with wives like the 'Geylang Chickens'! You get what you are paying for? So don't compare and don't complain.

Me? Oh, I must be the most obedient wife, if not where do I get my Chanel, Louis Vuitton and the subsidy for liposuction. Hahahaha...

But joke aside. Marriage is always a two-person thing. So guys, if you want a Julia Roberts, then you gotta be Richard Gere right?!



A Birthday Getaway for Two

If you have been following my blog, you would know by now that I had an unforgettable 35th birthday, owing it all to my loveliest husband (better known as Mr Hubby in this blog). So when his birthday (which is one month after mine) was approaching, I was feeling stressful. It is unlikely that I can out-do him because I admit, I am not as romantic or as creative as he is. And I can't afford to buy him a Chanel bag, but I guess he has no use for a Chanel bag anyway.

So I secretly planned for a special birthday getaway just for him and I, without our two kids. We had a simple dinner and cake-cutting at home with the kids on the eve of his birthday and we set off for the hidden oasis of Batam, Tempat Senang, on the actual day of his birthday, without telling him where we were going.

I paid a premium to book for the Thai room because I read it on the review that it is huge and luxurious. It has 2 bedrooms (not that we needed to sleep in separate rooms), a very big bathroom, even a courtyard with a Turkish fish spa. How cool!

This room has rows of built-in wardrobe, but who is going to use it anyway. So I thought I put it into good use by camwhoring with it as the background.

I love the Turkish fish spa. The fish inside are really gigantic, not those small ones that you would get from our local fish spa places. Initially, I was intimidated by the size of the fish, but after I put my feet in, I love it straight away.

There are just 7 private rooms in this resort, so you would feel very exclusive staying here. There is an interesting room, called The Tree House; it is decorated with a Tarzan-feel and there is even a real tree running though it. Behind me is a hanging bed, very special indeed. Mr Hubby thought it was pretty kinky too.

After our relaxing 3-hour spa, we were starving, so we order a feast for dinner. The Famous Beer Can Chicken is a bit over-rated, but we enjoyed ourselves at the table nevertheless.

After dinner, we had a few games of pool. I lost 1 ball on the first game and was totally wiped out by Mr Hubby on the other two. I suck at pool, it's no secret.

The short getaway made us felt as though we were still in courtship. It is a good way to strengthen anybody's marriage, or was it just my good excuse to ditch the kids aside, to enjoy ourselves.

 
 
The next morning, breakfast was complimentary; it was simple and yummy. Then it was time for us to check-out, catch the ferry and return to our reality - work, kids and all.

It was a good 24 hours away from everything at home, all thanks to my Mom who came over to sleep and play with our kids. Hopefully, we don't have to wait too long to do this again.