Success = Money = Happiness?

This is going to be a very long post, but I assure that you will gain invaluable insights if you read through it.

Today, I just found out that the doctor who did my first liposuction in Singapore had passed away. He had millions of dollars, a Ferrari, a bungalow and he also had terminal lung cancer. He was 40 years old when he died.

Below is the transcript of the talk of Dr. Richard Teo, who had selflessly came to share with the graduating medical students his life experience on 19-Jan-2012, while he was still battling cancer.

Hi good morning to all of you. My voice is a bit hoarse, so please bear with me. I thought I'll just introduce myself. My name is Richard, I'm a medical doctor. And I thought I'll just share some thoughts of my life. It's my pleasure to be invited by the professor. Hopefully, it can get you thinking about how... as you pursue this.. embarking on your training to become dental surgeons, to think about other things as well.

Since young, I am a typical product of today's society. Relatively successful product that society requires.. From young, I came from a below average family. I was told by the media... and people around me that happiness is about success. And that success is about being wealthy. With this mind-set, I've always be extremely competitive, since I was young.

Not only do I need to go to the top school, I need to have success in all fields. Uniform groups, track, everything. I needed to get trophies, needed to be successful, I needed to have colours award, national colours award, everything. So I was highly competitive since young. I went on to medical school, graduated as a doctor. Some of you may know that within the medical faculty, ophthalmology is one of the most highly sought after specialities. So I went after that as well. I was given a traineeship in ophthalmology, I was also given a research scholarship by NUS to develop lasers to treat the eye. 

So in the process, I was given 2 patents, one for the medical devices, and another for the lasers. And you know what, all this academic achievements did not bring me any wealth. So once I completed my bond with MOH, I decided that this is taking too long, the training in eye surgery is just taking too long. And there's lots of money to be made in the private sector. If you're aware, in the last few years, there is this rise in aesthetic medicine. Tons of money to be made there. So I decided, well, enough of staying in institution, it's time to leave. So I quit my training halfway and I went on to set up my aesthetic clinic... in town, together with a day surgery centre.

You know the irony is that people do not make heroes out of average GP (general practitioner), family physicians. They don't. They make heroes out of people who are rich and famous. People who are not happy to pay $20 to see a GP, the same person have no qualms paying ten thousand dollars for a liposuction, 15 thousand dollars for a breast augmentation, and so on and so forth. So it's a no brainer isn't? Why do you want to be a gp? Become an aesthetic physician. So instead of healing the sick and ill, I decided that I'll become a glorified beautician. So, business was good, very good. It started off with waiting of one week, then became 3weeks, then one month, then 2 months, then 3 months. I was overwhelmed; there were just too many patients. Vanities are fantastic business. I employed one doctor, the second doctor, the 3rd doctor, the 4th doctor. And within the 1st year, we're already raking in millions. Just the 1st year. But never is enough because I was so obsessed with it. I started to expand into Indonesia to get all the rich Indonesian tai-tais who wouldn't blink an eye to have a procedure done. So life was really good.

So what do I do with the spare cash. How do I spend my weekends? Typically, I'll have car club gatherings. I take out my track car, with spare cash I got myself a track car. We have car club gatherings. We'll go up to Sepang in Malaysia. We'll go for car racing. And it was my life. With other spare cash, what do i do? I get myself a Ferrari. At that time, the 458 wasn't out, it's just a spider convertible, 430. This is a friend of mine, a schoolmate who is a forex trader, a banker. So he got a red one, he was wanting all along, I was getting the silver one.

So what do I do after getting a car? It's time to buy a house, to build our own bungalows. So we go around looking for a land to build our own bungalows, we went around hunting. So how do i live my life? Well, we all think we have to mix around with the rich and famous. This is one of the Miss Universe, so we hang around, with the beautiful, rich and famous. This, by the way, is an internet founder. So this is how we spend our lives, with dining and all the restaurants and Michelin Chefs, you know. 

So I reach a point in life that I've got everything for my life. I was at the pinnacle of my career and all. That's me one year ago in the gym and I thought I was like, having everything under control and reaching the pinnacle.

Well, I was wrong. I didn't have everything under control. About last year March, I started to develop backache in the middle of nowhere. I thought maybe it was all the heavy squats I was doing. So I went to SGH, saw my classmate to do an MRI, to make sure it's not a slipped disc or anything. And that evening, he called me up and said that we found bone marrow replacement in your spine. I said, sorry what does that mean? I mean I know what it means, but I couldn't accept that. I was like “Are you serious?” I was still running around going to the gym you know. But we had more scans the next day, PET scans - positrons emission scans, they found that actually I have stage 4 terminal lung cancer. I was like "Whoa where did that come from?” It has already spread to the brain, the spine, the liver and the adrenals. And you know one moment I was there, totally thinking that I have everything under control, thinking that I've reached the pinnacle of my life. But the next moment, I have just lost it. 

This is a CT scan of the lungs itself. If you look at it, every single dot there is a tumour. We call this miliaries tumour. And in fact, I have tens of thousands of them in the lungs. So, I was told that even with chemotherapy, that I'll have about 3-4months at most. Did my life come crushing on, of course it did, who wouldn't? I went into depression, of course, severe depression and I thought I had everything. 

See the irony is that all these things that I have, the success, the trophies, my cars, my house and all. I thought that brought me happiness. But i was feeling really down, having severe depression. Having all these thoughts of my possessions, they brought me no joy. The thought of... You know, I can hug my Ferrari to sleep, no... No, it is not going to happen. It brought not a single comfort during my last ten months. And I thought they were, but they were not true happiness. What really brought me joy in the last ten months was interaction with people, my loved ones, friends, people who genuinely care about me, they laugh and cry with me, and they are able to identify the pain and suffering I was going through. That brought joy to me - happiness. None of the things I have, all the possessions, and I thought those were supposed to bring me happiness. But it didn't, because if it did, I would have felt happy think about it, when I was feeling most down..

You know the classical Chinese New Year that is coming up. In the past, what do I do? Well, I will usually drive my flashy car to do my rounds, visit my relatives, to show it off to my friends. And I thought that was joy, you know. I thought that was really joy. But do you really think that my relatives and friends, whom some of them have difficulty trying to make ends meet, that will truly share the joy with me? Seeing me driving my flashy car and showing off to them? No, no way. They won’t be sharing joy with me. They were having problems trying to make ends meet, taking public transport. In fact, I think, what I have done is more like you know, making them envious, jealous of all I have. In fact, sometimes even hatred. 

Those are what we call objects of envy. I have them, I show them off to them and I feel it can fill my own pride and ego. That didn't bring any joy to these people, to my friends and relatives, and I thought they were real joy. 

Well, let me just share another story with you. You know when I was about your age, I stayed in King Edward VII hall. I had this friend whom I thought was strange. Her name is Jennifer, we're still good friends. And as I walk along the path, she would, if she sees a snail, she would actually pick up the snail and put it along the grass patch. I was like why do you need to do that? Why dirty your hands? It’s just a snail. The truth is she could feel for the snail. The thought of being crushed to death is real to her, but to me it's just a snail. If you can't get out of the pathway of humans then you deserve to be crushed, it’s part of evolution isn't it? What an irony isn't it? There I was being trained as a doctor, to be compassionate, to be able to empathise; but I couldn't. 

As a house officer, I graduated from medical school, posted to the oncology department at NUH. And, every day, every other day I witness death in the cancer department. When I see how they suffered, I see all the pain they went through. I see all the morphine they have to press every few minutes just to relieve their pain. I see them struggling with their oxygen, breathing their last breath and all. But it was just, a job. When I went to clinic every day, to the wards every day, take blood, give the medication, but was the patients real to me? They weren't real to me. It was just a job, I do it, I get out of the ward, I can't wait to get home, to do my own stuff. 

Was the pain, was the suffering the patients went through real? No. Of course, I know all the medical terms to describe how they feel, all the suffering they went through. But in truth, I did not know how they feel, not until I became a patient. It is until now; I truly understand how they feel. And, if you ask me, would I have been a very different doctor if I were to re-live my life now, I can tell you - yes, I will. Because I truly understand how the patients feel now. And sometimes, you have to learn it the hard way. 

Even as you start just your first year, and you embark this journey to become dental surgeons, let me just challenge you on two fronts. 

Inevitably, all of you here will start to go into private practice. You will start to accumulate wealth. I can guarantee you. Just doing an implant can bring you thousands of dollars, it's fantastic money. And actually there is nothing wrong with being successful, with being rich or wealthy, absolutely nothing wrong. The only trouble is that a lot of us, like myself, couldn't handle it.

Why do I say that? Because when I start to accumulate, the more I have, the more I want. The more I wanted, the more obsessed I became. Like what I showed you earlier on, all I care was basically to get more possessions, to reach the pinnacle of what society did to us, of what society wants us to be. I became so obsessed that nothing else really mattered to me. Patients, were just a source of income, and I tried to squeeze every single cent out of these patients. 

A lot of times we forget, whom we are supposed to be serving. We become so lost that we serve nobody else but just ourselves. That was what happened to me. Whether it is in the medical, the dental fraternity, I can tell you, right now in the private practice, sometimes we just advise patients on treatment that is not indicated. Grey areas. And even though it is not necessary, we kind of advocate it. Even at this point, I know who are my friends and who genuinely cared for me and who are the ones who try to make money out of me by selling me "hope". We kind of lose our moral compass along the way. Because we just want to make money. 

Worse, I can tell you, over the last few years, we bad-mouthed our fellow colleagues, our fellow competitors in the industry. We have no qualms about it. So if we can put them down to give ourselves an advantage, we do it. And that's what happening right now, medical, dental, everywhere. My challenge to you is not to lose that moral compass. I learnt it the hard way, I hope you don't ever have to do it.

Secondly, a lot of us will start to get numb to our patients as we start to practise. Whether is it government hospitals, private practice, I can tell you when I was in the hospital, with stacks of patient folders, I can't wait to get rid of those folders as soon as possible; I can't wait to get patients out of my consultation room as soon as possible because there is just so many, and that's a reality. Because it becomes a job, a very routine job. And this is just part of it. Do I truly know how the patient feels back then? No, I don't. The fears and anxiety and all, do I truly understand what they are going through? I don't, not until when this happens to me and I think that is one of the biggest flaws in our system. 

We’re being trained to be healthcare providers, professional, and all and yet we don't know how exactly they feel. I'm not asking you to get involved emotionally, I don't think that is professional but do we actually make a real effort to understand their pain and all? Most of us won’t, alright, I can assure you. So don't lose it, my challenge to you is to always be able to put yourself in your patient's shoes. 

Because the pain, the anxiety, the fear are very real even though it's not real to you, it's real to them. So don't lose it and you know, right now I'm in the midst of my 5th cycle of my chemotherapy. I can tell you it’s a terrible feeling. Chemotherapy is one of those things that you don't wish even your enemies to go through because it's just suffering, lousy feeling, throwing out, you don't even know if you can retain your meals or not. Terrible feeling! And even with whatever little energy now I have, I try to reach out to other cancer patients because I truly understand what pain and suffering is like. But it's kind of little too late and too little.

You guys have a bright future ahead of you with all the resources and energy, so I’m going to challenge you to go beyond your immediate patients. To understand that there are people out there who are truly in pain, truly in hardship. Don’t get the idea that only poor people suffer. It is not true. A lot of these poor people do not have much in the first place, they are easily contented. for all you know they are happier than you and me but there are out there, people who are suffering mentally, physically, hardship, emotionally, financially and so on and so forth, and they are real. We choose to ignore them or we just don't want to know that they exist. 

So do think about it alright, even as you go on to become professionals and dental surgeons and all. That you can reach out to these people who are in need. Whatever you do can make a large difference to them. I'm now at the receiving end so I know how it feels, someone who genuinely care for you, encourage and all. It makes a lot of difference to me. That’s what happens after treatment. I had a treatment recently, but I’ll leave this for another day. A lot of things happened along the way, that's why I am still able to talk to you today. 

I'll just end of with this quote here, it's from this book called Tuesdays with Morrie, and some of you may have read it. "Everyone knows that they are going to die; every one of us knows that. The truth is, none of us believe it because if we did, we will do things differently." When I faced death, when I had to, I stripped myself off all stuff totally and I focused only on what is essential. The irony is that a lot of times, only when we learn how to die then we learn how to live. I know it sounds very morbid for this morning but it's the truth, this is what I’m going through. 

Don’t let society tell you how to live. Don’t let the media tell you what you're supposed to do. Those things happened to me. And I led this life thinking that these are going to bring me happiness. I hope that you will think about it and decide for yourself how you want to live your own life. Not according to what other people tell you to do, and you have to decide whether you want to serve yourself, whether you are going to make a difference in somebody else's life. Because true happiness doesn't come from serving yourself. I thought it was but it didn't turn out that way. With that I thank you, if you have any questions you have for me, please feel free. Thank you.

If you had been following my blog and read my lipo journey, you would have known that I had spoken badly of Dr Richard Teo and his lipo work in the past. He was exactly like how he had described himself to be, as a doctor who only wanted to get rich through exploiting human's vanity.

But I cried when I read his transcript above, because at the final moments of his life, Dr Richard Teo was not afraid to give an honest perspective to these graduating doctors-to-be, whom many of them might end up very jaded, or worst, being blind-sided by wealth and fame, glorified by media-loved celebrity doctors like Georgia Lee and what have you, instead of healing the sick or saving lives.

I am glad to know that Dr Richard Teo was finding true happiness in helping people realise that there are more to life than being rich, and more importantly, he was finally at peace with himself before he made his departure.

If you are a Christian (although I am not), you might want to read Dr Richard Teo's sharing at a Christian Fellowship Meeting, where he shared his journey back to the arms of God.

R.I.P doctor richard teo.

Lipo Re-work

Just came back from my Medan lipo trip, now I am all swollen and sore, but very much looking forward to finally having a waist.

After having my arms and shoulders done at Medan in January, I am rather satisfied with the results and decided to have my waist, flanks, abs and lower back re-work with the same doctor. And I also had my fats transfer to fill up the dents on my butts left by Dr R, the first doctor whom I had lipo with.

Ever since first liposuction with Dr R from TCS at Central, I have always wanted to kick myself for making such a fucking bad choice. Besides being freaking expensive, Dr R's work is a piece of CRAP! There were unevenness everywhere and my lower back was simply untouched, except for the two pit-like scars and dents that he left behind.

I know it's bad of me to say this, but I really think he should just go back to be a goddamn GP because he is  REALLY JUST A GODDAMN GP and a fucking plastic surgeon wannabe!

Anyway, coming back to Medan had really been good. The nurses and Jenny have all remembered me and came to the reception to welcome me. When I was on the OT table, screaming, the nurses held my hands and pat my shoulders gently to comfort and encourage me. And the doctor is an artisan who totally understand the silhouette of a woman, so unlike Dr R who work on me like some medical intern!

Look. I even had a souvenir for them - MY FATS. They had froze my fats and packed it for me to bring back to Singapore. It looks like a packet of curry! GROSS!

The nurses told me that I could use my own fats on my face as a moisturiser. I scooped out a tiny bit of my frozen fat and tried to spread it on the back of my hand and it melted into what felt like animal lard. Arrrggghhh!! It was disgusting! So I dumped it. Thanks, but I would prefer to use my SK-II.

Now the fun begins! Wound care. I have 9 of these which I have to meticulous clean them, dry them, pat iodine on them, apply medication to them, put on anti-bacteria gauze them and then cover ALL 9 of them up with gauze and surgical plasters.

Mr Hubby asked if this would be my last lipo. Hmm... I don't know but I really hope it would be the last. *fingers crossed.

Lipo @ Medan (Part 3 of 3)

The first week after liposuction was the hardest to get by, because the areas that went under knife would be so sore. On top of that, the whole body feel rather bloated up; not to mention the the amount of inconvenience that followed. No wonder many people, including myself, would experience bouts of regret and self-doubt for having had the procedure.

I had to wear the compression sleeves on my arms as often as 24/7 but they caused me to itch, I could only manage at most 12 hours a day. If I don't wear those damn compression sleeves, the edema of my arms would take a longer period to go off.

I had to clean and bandage my wounds which was really a hassle and instead of dressing the wounds for a week as recommended, I gave up after the next day upon returning to Singapore. On the third day, I just past band-aids over the wounds. After the fifth day, I can't even be bother with those band-aids, I just left the wounds exposed. Fortunately, the wounds healed up very well.

Then there were the bruises that I had to hide, so I had to wear something long-sleeves all the time whenever I was out. Once I wore my short-sleeves T to the nearby mall with Mr Hubby. He was rather uncomfortable being seen with me because he was afraid that someone might thought of him as a wife-basher. LOL!

(Picture of the bruises, taken on the 6th day post-lipo)

Fortunately, the bruises didn't take too long to go away, after that the scars were so tiny that they resembled some mosquito bites. I was already able to wear most of my clothes after the second week even though the arms still feel slightly swollen and rather numb at parts.

(Picture of a scar, taken on the 6th day post-lipo)

 
 

My jowl healed really good and the scars beside my ears were almost invisible but I hadn't really see any significant different to the shape of my face. Maybe there wasn't too much fat over those areas to begin with anyway. Waste my money to have it done!

 

(Picture of the bruises of my jowl, taken on the 6th day post-lipo)

After 19 grueling days, the results are finally beginning to show. I am starting to get compliments; some had assumed that I lost some weight, but actually the scale didn't move a bit at all. With the arms looking slimmer than before, it really felt fantastic.

I have to ditch the compression sleeves for body-stocking (it is stocking like material shaped like a long-sleeves blouse), because the itching was unbearable for me. So it might take me longer than 6 weeks to see the final result of my arms because I ain't very consistent in keeping the garment on.

To pay the price for a pair of better sculpted arms, it goes beyond just monetary. The muscles on both of my arms are still very tight, when I stretch my arms backward, I can't go any further than my neck! I certainly hope this is not permanent. There are still some lumpiness under the armpits which can be quite painful when massaged, however if I don't massage them, they might take forever to disappear.

Overall, I am quite satisfied and would be going back to have my back, flanks and upper abs revised. All thanks to my last doctor who did the Vaser Liposelection, he totally SUCKS. I really have to get those dents, bumps and waviness fixed so that I can one day put of my bikinis without feeling so self-conscious of my very uneven body.

*I would probably post the before and after pictures of my arms in another month or two when the results are more obvious.

Lipo @ Medan (Part 2 of 3)

On the second day of my arms' liposuction, this was the MOST traumatic day of the 4-days trip. I had my first post-lipo drainage and I almost died from it. Ok, not that serious but it was so goddamn painful that I cried. Jenny helped to wipe away my tears with a piece of tissue paper. The nurses teased me non-stop. They said I was so brave the day before, at surgery, and here I was totally reduced to tears being massaged.

But this wasn't any massage, all post-lipo drainage massage are murderous, regardless of where I had it. I remembered mine in Singapore was just so bad!

Many times, I had to yell, "STOP! STOP! STOP!" And the nurses had to cajole me to let them continued. I think I must had scared the rest of the patients with my cries and howls.

All breakfasts were complimentary, I had fried maggie mee which was surprisingly very delicious! Jenny would helped to "ta pao" lunch and dinner for all the patients. For dinner, I had the BEST ayam penyet ever! So yummy, I almost swallowed the bones!

I spent day 2 lazying around on the bed watching TV and DVDs, surfing net, yelling throughout my drainage massage, having facial and IPL done, as part of the 'Triple X' facial package that I signed up for SGD $198. The price was quite reasonable for a 2-hour facial, 1 IPL and 1 RF, but I didn't see any significant results post-treatment. I think those SK-II Facial Treatment Masks I have at home works better anytime.

That evening, there was came a knock on my door, I had expected it to be Dr Arthur but to my surprise.. actually it was more like SHOCK, Mr Hubby appeared at my room's door!! How on earth did that happened?? I had not give him the clinic's address, I merely told him that I would be in Medan for liposuction. I was like, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! HOW DID YOU FIND ME?!"

I was grateful to have him taking time away from his work and flying into Medan to keep me company. But the words that came out of his mouth wasn't all too pleasing. What did he say? He said, "Wow! You look like you had just been ran over by a truck!"    -_-   There goes all your brownie points, my dear.

I didn't sleep well that night because I was beginning to swell up; the water retention was so bad that my fingers looked like some freaking sausages! I always curls up, sleeping in a foetal position, with my arms hurting, I just had to sleep on my back which I really hate. So that night, I had a hard time trying to find the best position to dreamland.

It was the third day, I could finally shower; my scalp was oozing out a ton of oil! YUCKS!! After smelling great again, Mr Hubby and I went to Sun Plaza, the most popular mall in Medan for lunch and some shopping. There wasn't much for us but we bought quite a number of things for our kids. I bought some local food from the store opposite the clinic, but they weren't really up to my expectation.

When we came back, Mr Hubby had a 2-hour body massage and I had RF treatment done on my face. I ordered the very yummy ayam penyet for Mr Hubby, while I had ayam soto for dinner. Then we packed up our bags and watched more DVDs before turning in.

We woke up early in the morning to catch our morning flight back to Singapore. The driver didn't turn up to fetch us to the airport as instructed, so Dr Arthur drove us to the airport personally. We thanked him and flew back safely to Singapore by Silkair.

Despite feeling really quite sore, I hugged and carried my kids the moment I reached home. It kills me to be away from them for so many days. I missed them terribly and I was feeling very guilty not being around especially when Leonitus fallen sick while I was in Medan.

My arms were very bruised and swollen; water retention of my armpits had reached new height, it was as though I had two water-beds wedged between those pits. I couldn't help but felt slightly depressed. However, these are all just too normal post-lipo, I just need to persist on.

(..... to be continued.)

Lipo @ Medan (Part 1 of 3)

My quest for a slimmer figure had brought me to Medan, Indonesia. My last Vaser Liposelection done at a local aesthetic clinic had left me very disappointed. My abs were poorly sculpted and there are multiple areas with dents and waves. And there was my lower back and flanks, which seemed totally untouched except for the two incisions scars.

Those were good enough reasons to not return to that same clinic and doctor when I want to lipo my arms. After reading about this doctor in Medan from some forum and seeing many of his works on the Internet, I decided to take a chance and flew over to a foreign land to continue my lipo quest.

I took a Silkair flight, but I should really be alright just taking a budget airline because the flight only took slight over a hour. The clinic's driver picked me up from Medan airport and drove me straight to the clinic where I was greeted by the Customer Service Officer, Jenny and two nurses at the reception area. The walls of the clinic were filled with various certificates and photos of the doctor with some famous plastic surgeons and even with the president of Singapore!

The clinic... should I really be calling it a clinic? It is a three-storey twin-building, very BIG; it is equipped with operating theatre, dance studio, facial spa, kitchen and as many as ten bedrooms in the building. I stayed in room number 2, while the doctor stayed at Rm #1. It sure felt like a VIP to stay next-door to the doctor. My room is air-conditioned, spacious and clean, it has a queen-sized bed, wardrobe, a dresser, TV, DVD player and wireless Internet connection. There were also two drawers full of DVDs at the hall but all the discs were pirated! The best feature in the clinic was the Skype phone which I can make as many calls to Singapore as I desired and it is absolutely free of charge.

After I put down my stuff, the nurses ushered me into the consultation room where I met Dr Arthur for the first time. My impression of him was, he is very chatty for a doctor and he is very frank, to the extend that it might come across to some as blunt.

I had intended to lipo my arms as well as to revise the work of my flanks and lower back, but Dr Arthur weren't keen to tackle so many areas at once. He told me he would rather concentrate on one area at a time so that the result would be good instead of trying to do too many and not achieve what I really would have wanted. So in  the end , I chose to do my arms and my jowl, as for my flanks and lower back I will have to save them for my next trip.

The consultation was detailed even though Dr Arthur spoke very fast, but it was alright for me because I wasn't new to liposuction anyway. After the consultation, IV drip was administrated, followed by some sedative; I could feel my heart rate and breathing slowed down. Then I was given a pill, the nurses told me it was a sleeping pill. The doctor marked and then painted the areas that needed to lipo with a brown liquid which I believe it was iodine.

Now I was ready for the op. The nurses placed pieces of gauze over my eyes and each time they lifted the gauze to check, my eyes were be opened, they will tell me to go to sleep, but I can't sleep. In fact, I believe I was awake throughout the op and was aware of most things that were going on but it wasn't frightening and I did not feel any pain. It was all kind of ... twilight.

The op lasted less than three hours and I was transferred to a recovering room for the next 5 hours, where I was strapped up to machines that monitor my heart rate and blood pressure. The nurses would come in frequently to measure my temperature. After lunch, I tried to catch some sleep but it wasn't too successful.

Finally I was allowed to go back to my room; I was all bandaged up. Jenny ordered some noodle for me for dinner but I was too tired to eat and I fell asleep at about 7pm.

Around 10pm, I heard knocks on my door, I dragged myself out of bed to open the door and was surprised to see Dr Arthur in his t-shirt and shorts. He told me that he just wanted to check on me because he came by earlier at 8pm but I didn't wake up then and he was a little worried.

After the doctor's visit, I fell asleep quite quickly and didn't wake up until 5am in the morning. And of course, I was starting to feel quite sore on those areas that I had lipo. I knew then that the toughest part of lipo had began.

(.... to be continued)

Lipo's Gross Factor

Day 11 - Just when everyone (the nurses and myself) thought we had seen the end of drainage, the damn fluid gathered around my pelvis again. OK. I shall just let the pictures speak for themselves.

WARNING!!

Extremely graphic images below. View at your own risk!!

It looks like it hurt a lot but this was done after injecting the L.A., so actually I felt nothing.


Take a closer look.

After drawing out the fluid with the syringe, the nurse would squirt it into this mental container and poke again to drain out more fluid. She would stop only when there is nothing left.

It looks almost like blood but the consistency is thin, like water. I call it "Ribena Tarik" because it is red and has foamy bubbles! I know, I am gross.

Long Road to Recovery

Day 4, Morning - Working from home today.

Day 4, Afternoon - Wanted to have popiah for lunch. Sent my helper to buy for me so that I can continue working over lunch time but she called and said that the stall is not selling popiah today. So I made a fast decision to have Mac instead and after whooping down the burger and fries, I was drown by floods of regrets. Wah lau, I ate something so goddamn sinful! Then I used my lunch time to change my dressing. To my horror, the two "holes" for draining the fluid had closed! I was tempted to open them but I remember Nurse Fanny had warned me against doing so. I still had so much fluid left inside me. KNN. So upset. :(

Day 4, Evening - Took off my compression garment to pee and stole a glimpse of my weird looking body shape in mirror. There were so many dents and bugles. Is this normal??? Somebody, please tell me this will not be permanent!

Day 4, Night - Did the surgery cause me to be constipated? Maybe, probably more psychologically than physiologically, I suspect. So I took some laxative and after that whenever my tummy rumbles I would make my way to the loo. After making through those 2 damn rows of zippers and the numerous hooks to take my compression garment off, the "feel" to pass motion would simply just vanished. WTF! Then I had to painstaking put on back my damn garment.

Day 5, Very early morning (4am) - Woke up and finally shit! I swear I could smell the tumescent fluid in my poo! YUCKS!!

Day 5, Afternoon - Laundry my compression garment. Took the chance to air my skin which is getting so damn itchy. Suddenly I sneezed! FUCK! I almost thought I was bursting up from inside. Hell! It's HURTS!


Day 6 - Bought Hirudoid Gel after reading that it helps with the post-lipo's swelling and bruising. I know I should be patient when it comes to seeing the result of lipo but I can't help but feel so dejected each time I look in the mirror. I am still as large as pre-op. Maybe that's why in reality show like "Extreme Makeover", they had all the mirrors removed from the participant's room.

Day 7 - Went back to my office to work today. Skipped lunch so that I can go to the clinic for my check-up. All the incisions were closed so the nurses had to use syringe to draw out the fluid. Initially, I was scared shit but because I was left with no other better option, I relented. Fortunately, it wasn't as bad as I thought it might be. Just tiny bit of pain when they injected the area with a L.A. to numb it before poking me with the large needle with a 20ml syringe. They managed to draw out more than 100ml of fluid.

Day 8 - Skipped lunch again. More drainage using syringe. Nurse Ah Boy chided me for not wearing my foam suit. She said those dents and lumpiness were a result for not using the foam suit. She stuff a sponge into my compression garment. Arrgghhh!! I look so bloody pregnant!

Day 9 - MORE drainage. Seriously, just when is this ever going to end? And MORE sponges were added into my compression garment too!

This is me, as good as a "bar-zhang"; wrapped up in my compression garment and stuffed with sponges!!

Just the Beginning

The night before - It was hard for me to fall asleep, after all I had been waiting for this day (my Vaser lipo procedure) like forever! I stared at the half-asleep Mr Hubby with excitement written all over my face. He thought I was rather silly. Then Leonitus coughed and I was reminded that it was a really bad timing to have the procedure done because my precious 6 mth old was unwell. A surge of mixed feelings made me uncomfortable. Eventually, I managed to subdue my apprehension and drifted rather uneasily to dreamland.


Day 1, morning - I woke up early. Showered and all ready to go. Mr Hubby took a day off so that he could drive me to the clinic and fetch me back when I am done. He asked if I was nervous. I replied I wasn't but I must confess, deep down inside me, my adrenaline was pumping. It could be nervousness or excitement. I don't know.


Day 1, noon - I found out that the clinic had made a mistake. I was supposed to have the procedure done by this older doctor who was "commercially-marketed" by the clinic as the mentor of the doc who owned this place but someone or somehow it was messed up and I was assigned to have the procedure with the younger doctor, the boss of the clinic instead. The front desk personnel then tried to psycho me to go ahead with the procedure by "selling" me this younger doc, who is supposedly to be very popular. And actually procedures done by him would cost more but they would absorb the extra charges (damn, they have to because they fucked up in the first place). She went on and on saying how lucky or fated I was to have my procedure with him. I was like "Ok. Cut the fucking crap already!"

Later, when I was all prep up waiting for the anesthesiologist to come and administrate the sedative, another crude surprise was awaiting for me. The anesthesiologist looked more like a plumber in his late 50s than a doctor! He was wearing a pair of dirty-looking beige pants which was at least 2 sizes bigger and he was using this very old belt to hold his pants together. The belt must be as old as he is, so old that the buckle was tarnished beyond hope and when he was standing very close to me, I managed to make up the brand of his belt. It was BONIA! Did he recycled his wife's discarded belt? I didn't have time to think further, the drug knocked me out!


Day 1, evening - I woke up, very light-headed. I was lying in a pool of my own bloody fluid. It was GROSS to the max! I dressed up with the nurses' help and Mr Hubby was already waiting patiently to bring me home. I love this man to bits. First, he offered to sponsor 50% of the cost of my procedure. Then he took leave to take me to the clinic and waited more than 2 hours to fetch me home. He even took over the night duty to look after Leonitus, who had been unwell. I am so blessed to marry him.


Day 1, night - I was told I might throw up so I ate something light and went straight to bed. As I am always sleeping on my sides (curling up in a fetal position), I had so much trouble sleeping on my back and facing upward. I got up many times to pee because I refused to pee in my gigantic diaper. Yes, you heard me right. I was made to wear a diaper because the tumescent fluid in my body kept oozing out from all the 7 holes of my body!


Day 2, morning - I arrived at the clinic to have my dressing changed as well as the post-op drainage which nearly killed me! Why the fuck didn't anybody warn me about this drainage horror? The two nurses were quite nice and patient with me. I cringed when they rolled and pushed and squeezed the fluid out of my already battered and bruised body. I swear it literally felt like I was hit by a truck and ran over several times. I held the blanket close to my mouth to block out my screams. I asked the nurses if there is any other methods to drain out the fluid apart from the current one that I am experiencing. One of them replied, "Yes, we can drain the fluid out using a syringe but some people might not be able to take it and would faint from it." Oh.. That's just GREAT!

They put me in a foam suit which made it look at least 10kg fatter and then squeezed me back into my compression garment. I wobbled out of the clinic like a penguin!


Day 2, afternoon - I took a two hour nap, trying to forget that I would have to go back to the clinic for the damn drainage again tomorrow. I was starting to regret doing lipo. The nurses at the clinic told me I would probably be unable to shower today because of my punctured wounds. But I did it anyway. I even washed my hair. I can endure pain but I can't endure myself to stench like some rotten meat. Maybe I didn't smell that bad but hygiene has always been my top priority.


Day 2, evening - Although still very much in pain, I tried to move about and get up more often so as to aid the drainage of fluid tomorrow. Hated the foam suit, I ditched it aside and made compression garment my only best friend for the next few weeks.


Day 2, night - Mr Hubby came home rather late from work. And he bought me a cheery sunflower and told me to get well soon. He is the sweetest! I would have hug him really tightly if I wasn't sore beyond words to describe.




Day 3, morning - I dragged myself back to the clinic for another drainage session. I was admiring the view from the clinic; it's so picturesque with MBS at the far end. The clinic is really hip with a clean and modern feel, very much opposite from the OT and the cluttered resting area; I must snap pictures when I have the chance. Anyway, maybe my threshold of pain had increased overnight or maybe Nurse Fanny, whom I had began to be more chummy with, put me at ease by chatting with me. It was so much more tolerable today. Mr Hubby came with Leonitus to pick me up and we had lunch before he drove us home. I am so fortunate to have this family.


Day 3, afternoon - I came home and the dressing was already soaked with blood-stained fluid. I took off the compression garment for a quick laundry and wore the stupid foam suit instead. Then the dressing leaked again. I was so fed-up to have spent a long time in the bathtub squeezed myself all over, trying to drain as much fluid out as possible. At the end, the bath tub looked like a scene straight out from CSI. That afternoon alone, I changed my dressing 3 times! The maternity pads really help with the absorption. I should have bought them earlier then I might not need to change my dressings so many times.




Day 3, evening - The thing I hate most from the procedure, apart from the pain, the oozing fluid and the hassle of wearing and taking off the compression garment each time I pee, is the compromise of mobility. I hate the feeling of not being able to carry my children, so I went ahead and carry Leonitus, who is lighter among the two, for few seconds and fuck! it hurts like hell.


Day 3, night - Sleep was uncomfortable because the brusing and swelling had began to kick in. I also started to have water retention from head to toes. My face was kind of bloated to the extent that my double eyelids felt really weird. Now, I am seeming much BIGGER than I once were before lipo. It quite depressing to be at the current stage of recovery.


Working from home tomorrow, I am so not looking forward to the amount of emails that I might be getting after being away from work these few days.

Stay tuned for more of my lipo journey....