I was talking to someone who has a partner who spent more than half his time in China for work. Her paranoia began when she visited him over there and realised that it was almost like an informal culture for Singaporean men, regardless of their marital status, to acquire a mainlander, either as their "girlfriend" or girlfriend for their "secondary lives" in China. Why with the " ", you should know what I mean, I don't have to spell every fuck thing out so clearly, do I?
That someone and her partner have made some long-term planning, but somehow, she is pulling back because her seemingly irrational distrust for his partner might not be too irrational after all.
While on the way to dinner with Mr Hubby, I told him about the conversation which I had with that someone. And I asked for his genuine opinion as a man, "If you are based in China and almost all your colleagues are involved with some China gals, would you have given in to temptation?"
He answered, "Depends." As emotionlessly as I had predicted.
I probed further, "Depending on?..."
"Various factors." He was adamant to put an end to my question.
"Huh?! Whatever happens to 'TIL DEATH DO US APART'? Factors like what? What kind of factors allows you to forsake your wedding vows? Why can't you, men just be faithful? What so good about those China whores? I am so disappointed with you! So you think it's ok to be unfaithful! I WANT A DIVORCE!! blah.. blah.. blah.."
Those would have been the usual stuff some women (or myself, given if I was 10 or 12 years younger) might have said to her husbands. Usually is this kind of boh liao conversation that got couples into silly fights; each trying to drive home a point or to prove some ego issues.
What about me? I kept quiet. (Are you surprise?) I silently thanked Mr Hubby in my heart for his blunt but nevertheless, honest reply. His truthful answer reminded me that love is intangible, not measurable and definitely breakable; nobody, however responsible or loving, is spared from the lure of carnal knowledge, especially one that is exercised by the Chinese "experts".
For I knew, I am not his puppet-master, I don't string his actions, but there are things that I can do. And you can do too. That is never to depend your life on love and love alone. Live your life proud and make it worthy; for you would only live just once.
I treasure the love Mr Hubby has for me and I still believe that he will honor our vows till eternity. But I am clear of my options and I would promise to live my life even better, if ever the day comes for me to become his "dispensable".
But don't tell him lah, it might disappoint him if he know that his 'bimbo-tic' wife actually has courage and some brains, you know.