I have just returned from my final check-up with my gynae. It is now less than 48 hours before the birth of Leonitus!
Guess what I am most fearful of?
Not the epidural, not even the surgery. It is the dreadful confinement period; those hellish 28 days that top my list! >_<''
Probably because I am not a believer of confinement, I feel that those 28 days of "cannot do this, cannot do that" and having people to watch over your every moves and to constantly repeat "go and rest" like a broken down recorder, is simply torturous for me. I hate restrictions. For me, it felt almost like I am serving time in jail for giving birth. How nice!!!
I can't help but scoff whenever when I was told, if you don't this or that, you will suffer in the future. I am like... WTF!? From the moment I conceived, I am prepared to SUFFER for my children anyhow. Tell me which mother don't suffer for their kids?
I was told by some successful breastfeeding moms that my low milk production, the last round had something to do with my self-inflicted stress during confinement. I remembered, I wasn't eating well because I hated the confinement food so much that daily meals became so much of a chore than an enjoyment for me. And I had a bad pork kidneys scare that put me off the dish for the longest time ever, even though I used to like eating them before my confinement.
This time round, with all the past experiences and lessons learnt, I wish I would have more control over my life during this dreaded period and also hopefully I can breastfeed more successful too.
And to all those confinement advocates out there, I thank you for your kindness and concern, please save it for the next person. Don't worry about me, if those 'ang mohs' mothers who didn't have confinements didn't die, I would also turn out just fine too.