Going Beyond "I Do"

I like attending weddings; it has a magical effect on me. Seeing the brides walking down the aisle in lacy white gowns, I almost wanted to believe in those fairytale’s happily-ever-after crap.

Every time, I read Snow White or Cinderella or Rapunzel to my young daughter, I would roll my eyes when I reached the end of the story. “… the Prince married the princess and they lived happily ever after.”

Can you believe the kind of poison that was seeded into our young minds when we were children and later bloomed into the most unrealistic expectation we have on marriage? We were made to believe that marriage is the only key to end our miserable lives but on the contrary, marriage can be the beginning of nightmares for some women.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against holy matrimony. In fact, I am a believer of it. But women (even some men) must be clear that happily-ever-after does not come automatically after saying “I do”.

It would takes many ‘ingredients’ (love alone is never enough) like commitment, faith, courage, loyalty, understanding, care, concern and throw in some pragmatic elements like financial stability, status/economic compatibility and even some tears must be shed, to concoct marital bliss.

So unless you are living with seven dwarfs, have a fairy godmother and your hair is ten miles long, you have better start putting in efforts to create your own happily-ever-after.

And as for me, I didn’t have a lavish wedding, just a warm and humble reception surrounded by people who loves me. It has been four years and two kids, with fair amount of ups and downs, and I am still feeling happy.

How we do it? Simple but fun stuff, like sneaking out to catch a show when the kids have fallen asleep (with another caregiver at home), exploring new places for dinner, just the two of us so it feels like we are still in courtship. Doesn't even have to be often, just once a month or two. Have a hobby or do something that you both enjoy. For us, we run. And it is never too late to start; I only started exercising with Mr Hubby two months ago!

Lastly, never expect your spouse to change for you, instead, have your own life and do everything a woman possibly can to look good. Because a happy wife = a happy marriage. That gives me all the more reason to buy more new shoes and dresses! How can I not be happy!?