You are afraid to die?
Having attempted my own life in the past, there was a period of my life or in fact, several phase of my life where it is more painful to be alive than to be dead; or so I thought. But with the arrival of Laetitia, everything changes. I ACTUALLY BECOME SCARED OF DYING!
I analyze the reason for my fear and it seems that I am not afraid of the act of dying, what terrifies me is that I wouldn't have the chance to watch Laetitia grows up, see her through her first day in school, witness her graduation and be there for her when she needed me, if I ever died anytime soon. (Choy!! Touchwood!!) And of course, it would be hard for me to give up my wonderful husband to death too.
Maybe these are what were going through my mom's head when she learnt that her cancer is terminal. And many others like her. People are not afraid of dying, mostly we just don't want to let go of the ones we loved.
But looking at the brighter side of dying.... Yes, there is a BRIGHTER side to every fuck things, at least in my personal opinion.
Dying = Still alive but knowing somehow when death is going to take place, so it prepares you for your final count-down... erm, I mean your final goodbye.
But Living, on the other hand = Still alive but not knowing if the next second some shit fuck might just happen and takes your life away so abruptly that you didn't even have the time to figure out how you died.
Well, I have predictably another 47 years to live and will probably die as a saggy and wrinkly old hag! FUCK to that!
Til then, just enjoy being alive!