Snip Snip Snip

I love keeping my hair long. I remember when I was in secondary school, my school do not allow girls to keep long hair. Anything touching the shoulders has to be cut! So those 4 years were the most agonising period of my adolescent and I HATED my secondary school years because of it.

Strangely, something got over me this year, I cut my hair not once but 3 times in 6 months! And it wasn't even trim, I had inches snipped off each time I visited the salon.

I think I am a little not myself anymore.....

Occasionally I still dream about my long, wavy waist length tress but for now it is just short and sassy.

MORE Cravings

I simply couldn't stop thinking about food... food... and more food!!!

I think I am getting a little neurotic. My brain is constantly flooded with pictures of all kinds of food!

Food is the first thing on my mind when I wake up and last thing on my mind before I KO at night.

What is happening to me?

I can't stop wanting to EAT!!

This is really BAD!!

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centuryeggporridgeKFCtomyumseafoodsoupbbqquailslambchopsdeepfriedwantonsataymeesototiramisuclamchowderporkribsfish&chipsmeegorengtunameltsandwichribeyesteakmeehoonquayrotijohnbbqstingraygrilledsambalsotongMcSpicycurryfishheadoreocheesecakepopiahmalahotpotgrilledchickenwingsblackpeppercrabscheesyescagotsvenisononhotplatepizzaramlyburgerroastedduck

Cravings

When I had Laetitia, I never had craving for any or certain food, I just find that EVERY, yes, EVERYTHING is delicious to me.

With this pregnancy, I would crave for food and when I don't get to eat it, I can becomes uneasy and sleepless.


It was past 11pm, I caught a glimpse of "Bak Kut Teh" on the TV and developed an insane craving to eat it. Mr Hubby drove us, 20 minutes away from home, to Balestier's famous Founder Bak Kut Teh Restaurant.

Next few days later, I also had my craving for "Ma La" Hotpot satisfied. And many many sinful cravings for sweet stuff like cakes, muffins and cookies.

Hmm..... I think this is baby I am carrying is a glutton! I have to watch my weight.

Feel like %#!@$?

I am having a really nasty yeast infection after taking anti-biotic for my horrible UTI attack. It is already killing me! Then comes the morning sickness, which do not restrict itself to just the morning hours. Win already lor!!

It is like I had entered this chamber of torture. Beginning with the painful UTI, tormenting yeast infection and then nauseating morning sickness... arghhh!!! When is this ever going to STOP! How frustrating!!

Plus, I threw up my lunch today after trying a tiny piece of preserved lemon slices, which was supposed to make me feel better. PUI!! So angry lor!!

It has been the 3rd day, why isn't the medicine doing its job??!!

Why am I still feeling like crap???

WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?

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Laetitia makes me laugh. She is better than any medicines in the world. *sigh **short relief

My one & only, Laetitia

It's so surreal that here I am expecting another baby when I only had Laetitia not longer ago.

I am probably crazy to have this fear that once the new baby is born, there will be changes between the feelings Laetitia has for me or vice versa.

It's like I want to always have this special bond with Laetitia that I would never want to give up for anything else in the world.

I have no idea how to be a mother of 2, just as how I was clueless starting out as a mother for Laetitia, 18 months ago.

Make a Smilebox scrapbook In any case, Laetitia, I love you and I will always do.

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The Beginning

Spend the day at home instead of at work. Had been MC for extreme fatigue. I am so tired that I simply can't get my butt off the bed without feeling light-headed.

In case you are wondering if I am dying, the answer is "No". The somewhat longer answer is "Who knows, people die all the time without really knowing when and where, death gonna takes place. But for now, I don't think I am dying just yet!"

Ok, cut the crap. Truth is - I could be pregnant... most likely to be pregnant... almost certainly to be pregnant... Ok... Ok... honestly... the test kit shows that I am pregnant but the ultra-sound scan from my gynae's clinic has not pick up any image yet, so there can still be a 0.1% chance that I am just giving myself excuse to be fat and is plainly exhausted from all that binge eating.

Perhaps I am in denial. I guess, I am just not mentally prepared for another baby, but then again when was I ever mentally prepared for motherhood anyway. But the thought of putting on weight and then going through 'boot-camp' style of dieting & exercise to shed them off still sends shivers down my spine.

Even though I had done it before, when I successfully lost beyond those 18 kgs which I had piled up during my last pregnancy and incidentally became slimmer than my prenatal, I am still apprehensive.

And the thought of GD (gestational diabetes), and all those daily, multiple blood tests and insulin shots which I endured during my last pregnancy is enough to get me damn freaked out!

It might have seemed that I am very unwilling to go through another round of pregnancy because it was more of a nightmare than anything I could enjoy, but I think I would psyche myself ready to venture into "hell" again if that's what it takes to have another "blessing" in our life.

How could I still say "No" to kids, when I already know just how much joy one lil' angel can bring, let alone two or more.

But two is already the benchmark for me.

So let the battle begins!!

Ate my heart as dessert

I feel sad, reading the following statement on a person's FB.

"别去想「他为什么会这样」，也不要管「他究竟在想些什么」，何必献上你的真心, 去给一个无心的人当点心呢?? 和这样的人在一起，不管花费多少心思，投资多少青春，也很难得到所要的结果."

I felt sad because I know how true this statement can be.

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Let me loosely translate it for those who don't read Chinese.

"Do not ponder over thoughts like 'why is he like this?' or 'what exactly does he want?' Why do you want to give your heart to someone who would eat it for dessert. No matter how much effort you made, or how much youth you have invested, spending your life with a person like this will not get you what you want in return."

Thank you

I was not having the best day of my life; dragging my tired and overworked body into an overcrowded fast food restaurant at 10pm, trying to grab a quick bite to settle dinner.

I felt a sense of helplessness when I was struggling desperately to balance with my tray of food and drink with a overloaded handbag over my left shoulders and a laptop trolley towing behind me while scanning the place for a place to sit down.

At this moment, a friendly face showed up in front of me; he is a staff of the restaurant. He gestured for me to come over for he had found a seat for me. As I was making my way over clumsily, he reached for my tray and asked. "May I?" He took over my tray and placed it on the table of the seat he founded.

I thanked him and sat down only to realised that the napkins which I had placed beside my food earlier had fallen off from my tray. He reappeared, this time with some napkins. He placed them beside me and left quietly to do his work.

When I finished my dinner, I tried to return the tray, but I really didn't know where to return it to. He came over, took the tray from me and thanked me before I can even thank him.

Mr Ilham, from Mc Donald's at Lot 1 Shopping Mall, I hope I got your name right. I just want to say, "Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your kindness and helpfulness lifted all the gloom off my day."


*The above is also emailed to ST Forum. I hope they (People in ST and McDonald's) recognized the good work of Mr Ilham.