Me... 33!

I just turned 33, a couple of days back. There wasn't any celebration or birthday cake, only a quiet dinner with Mr Hubby and my mom (bro and his gf could't make it, at the last min) after I knocked off from work. Yes, I was actually working on my birthday; how sad!? :(

Mr Hubby surprised me with a very lovely bouquet of roses, when he came to pick up me from my office. And asked me what I wanted for my birthday. He did give me a few options.

a) Sponsorship for my driver's lessons
b) Co-sponsorship for liposuction
c) The LV bag that I had wanted to buy

Hmm... tough choices... Can I take ALL three?

I have not give him my reply yet; meanwhile just let me smell my roses and give those 3 options some thoughts....

Oh... maybe I don't need lipo anymore. I dropped another 1.5kg after being "Maria" for the last 3 weeks.

Die Bed Bugs, DIE!

Those horrific bites on my body were actually caused by bed bugs! I didn't believe it initially because I have checked my bed and found no traces of bugs, their feces or their remains. Mr Hubby also got bitten recently, so he decided to buy some bed bug spray regardless of whether they are actually bed bugs or some other creepy crawlies.

He sprayed our room and the maid's room (which is now vacant) with the solution and the next day, I "magic-cleaned" our room and was actually feeling quite disappointed when I didn't find anything. But when I was cleaning the maid's room, low and behold, I found 3 carcasses of the bed bugs under her bed!! Which means the bugs could have migrated to our room after the original host (which was my previous maid) left, that explains why we only experienced the bites after the maid's departure.

After doing some research on the Internet, I realised that it is actually common for those transferred maids to be carriers of head lice or bed bugs because while they are at the agency, waiting for their next potential employers, they will be staying in some over-crowding quarters, shared among many other maids who might already been infested by these blood-thirsty pests before they reached Singapore, especially those from the rural villages.

If you are getting a transferred maid from the agency, it is advisable to check the maid at the agency for head lice and her belongings for bed bugs before bringing her back to your home.

It was like WTF! I thought all my problems with my last maid would have finally come to an end after her dismissal, who knows she left behind a trail of messes and infestations for me to clear. Super KNN!!

Letting Go

More than a week ago, I made a painful decision to let Oki go to a new home. Before I do that I kept stressing to the lady who wanted to adopt Oki to return him back to us if she, for any reason, could not give Oki the kind of life he deserved.



I remember when she asked me for my reason for giving Oki up; I made it very clear to her that it was not like I do not want him anymore, I wanted him to have a better home, one that would give him lots of love and care, pamper him like nobody's business, walk him daily and have people at home who have the time for him. I know I can no longer provide all these for him and it is only fair that I let him go... to a place where he deserve to be. He truly deserve a better owner than the current me who is struggling work, life, baby and all, with a lack in emotional understanding.



It was hard, very hard letting him go and the worst part was surpressing all my feelings because I didn't tell anyone how hurting it was for me to send him away. I didn't say because I didn't want anyone to stop me or to talk me out of this decision.



There will be people who would be quick to label me as "just one of those irresponsible dog owner", but I won't give a fuck. It would be simple to avoid being labelled, either I just continue keeping Oki and not feeling bad about not spending time with him or I can choose to lie and say nothing about this adoption. I have known people who keep their dogs in the kitchen, balcony, toilet or even cage for years but I will never bring myself to do any of that.



I think I used all of my remaining love for him to get to the decision of giving him away after knowing that he would be genuinely loved and his companionship would be cherished by his new family.


We went to visit Oki in his new home last Sunday. And I was so happy to see that he is well-taken care of .He has accepted his new family very well and he even has a new friend now, a rabbit. When it was time for us to go, Oki whined just a little but he did not make any attemp to follow me, unlike how I had anticipated earlier. It seemed to me that he knew this is his home now and I am nothing more than a visitor.



I fought back my tears when we left Oki's new home. I think those would have been happy tears.

Although I missed Oki very much, I know letting go is the right thing to do. For loving someone is never about possession, it is always about giving what's best for him even when it means losing him.

More bites

I was unable to sleep without scratching myself, for the whole of last week. Seriously, I don't know what the fuck is wrong; why do ALL the insects like to target me and Laetitia!!!

WHY? WHY? WHY?

Apart from the 25

Maybe some of you are familiar about this thing call 25 Random Ramblings About Me on Facebook. Now I am going to do the "Director's cut" of the uncensored No. 26 - 38, only for my explicit world.

Oh.. FYI, this is rated NC-16 for vulgarities and nudity.

Ya, nude, your fucking head! Dream on! Here goes....

26) I used to drink at clubs and got myself so fucking dead drunk that I can't recall how I eventually got home. But I did manage to reach home somehow.

27) During a few of my drunken stupors, I actually peed in the public (behind some bush or car). I am sorry if my pee pee ever stained your wheels or killed your plants.

28) When I was 4 or 5, I killed a chick with a huge rock and I dumped its carcass into a canal so that my grandma wouldn't discover that one of her chicks was murdered. I was pretty convinced then that I was a sadist.

29) I remember when my brother was little, I hated him because he got all the attention of my parents; so one day I taught him to say "CHEE BYE" and when he stupidly repeated that, I complained to my mom that he used vulgarity on me.

30) When I was a teenager, I would crave words on my wrist with a pen knife and then put ink into the wound hoping that it would resemble tattoos. Don't try it won't work and it is hell more painful then an actual tattoo.

31) My first french kiss was a horrendous experience. This guy, whom I met for the first time, dated me out and when we were alone in the backyard of a school, he just grab my head and stuck his fucking tongue into my mouth. WTF! I was like "PUI!!!!!!!", get lost, you loser! And I was only 13 then!

32) I was a "love junkie" who suffered "withdrawal symptons". As soon as I broke up, I would be drifting to the next person who shows up "loving" me. After a few day, I would move on again until I need to get my next "fix",. I actually like none of the guys.

33) I used to get panic attacks so badly that I became breathless and got totally disoriented; I was even convinced that I was dying at some point of time.

34) When I was single, I dated guys from the Internet, many of them were simply too crappy for words but one good one became my husband.

35) I am contemplating for the longest time to get myself a full Brazilian wax, but that is going to be so fucking painfully. OUCH!!

36) In my younger days, I had wanted to be a Satanist but I can't find any Satanism Church in Singapore.

37) Around 10 years ago, I nearly died from an overdose of drug but that did not stop me from being suicidal, instead the birth of Laetitia changes it all.

38) Last to the list. If I die tomorrow, I hope someone would tell Laetitia about this blog.

Oh.. P/S: Make sure she turns 16 before she reads this.

The reunion dinner with the guys

Every CNY, I have a reunion dinner with this group of friends whom I had literally watched them (some of the closer ones) grow up. These guys were my brother's sec school buddies; I can't remember exactly how I came to become part of their "pack" but I was, and still am, always regarded as a sister to most of them.

The ritual of doing reunion dinner started when they were only boys (they were only 15 or 16, I recall). There were just a few of us and we would go to coffee shops for 'cze zhar'. Now there are 2, 3 tables of us, if everyone can make it to the dinner.

There will be some new faces from time to time when the boys or even myself change new girlfriends or partners, but the core of the pack would always be that few of us, unchanged for more than a decade.

This year, we have a new addition to the "pack", my daughter, Laetitia. The guys actually took turns to babysit her throughout the dinner so that Mr Hubby and I have the chance to eat our food.

Thanks to one of the guys, Yun Hao, who documented all our annual CNY reunion dinners by faithfully taking gorgeous pictures of us. And when I look back at his CNY past years' gallery, it was nostalgic to see those once familiar faces (our exs) who had became the history of our "pack".

And I really must thank Yun Hao for photo-shoping away those horrible skeeters bites on Laetitia's closeup face.

I am utterly grateful to have met this bunch of "monkeys", who had been there for me through all these years!

I am looking forward to next year's CNY reunion dinner. And guys, you have to continue to babysit Laetitia for me. But I know you would enjoy doing it!

3 days to Valentines

And all I have to say about love is ... ... ... .

Nothing. I don't have anything to say about it personally, but I have a quote to share.

"Love means giving something you don’t have to someone who doesn’t want it".

~ by Jacques Lacan

How true!

Woes of a working mom

Usually after a week of CNY, I would had be fattened up by 1 kg or more. But yesterday & today at the work, many had commented that I seem to have lost weight.



The year of the Ox and I had been working like a fucking cow, doing the spring cleaning on my own while minding Laetitia, a hyper-active toddler because my damn maid decided to "fire" me the day before the eve of CNY. With loads of stuff not done, a house infesting with ants and 3 months of accumulated dirt waiting for me to scrub out (all thanks to the world's most incompetent maid), I literally had it all sweat out. And it didn't just end after CNY's eve; to maintain the cleanliness of our home, life just gets more tedious. Luckily Mr Hubby was a great help, who did his share of toilet-cleaning, floor mopping and etc.



We were working last Wed and Thur after 2 days of CNY, so we had to ferry Laetitia to my PIL's place on Wed's morning before work and picked her up again after work. Thur was madness, because I was working from home with Laetitia, who threw a terrible tantrum after lunch because she refused to let me clean her up. Fortunately, the tantrum must have exhausted her because she went on to nap for 3 hours, and that left me timeto catch up with my work. I remembered lunch for me that day was 5 mins instant noodles. I took 2 min to cook and 3 min to swallow them up.



Friday, I was on leave. Sat and Sun, I was off. As it was still the CNY period, we had visiting to do among our daily chores of housework and these were well eating up our precious rest days. With a full work week ahead of me and many activities happening in the month of Feb, I found myself working into the wee hours of Sat night, after Laetitia slept.



Sun morning, Laetitia was up early. It was cooking lunch, kitchen cleaning and laundry before I collapsed onto the bed for a 30 min power nap, waking up just in time to take over Mr Hubby, so that he had the chance to rest for a while before whisking the entire family to my PIL's place for dinner.



On top of all that craziness, I was also looking out for a new maid, sourcing for backups to help look after Laetitia, in case my PIL and us have to be away and planning my work days to coordinate a schedule where Laetitia would be cared for.



After leaving Laetitia at my PIL's home on Sun evening and returning to working professionally for the week, I can't help but search through my handphone for pictures which I had taken of Laetitia in that frantic week. It felt almost like a piece of me was taken away without her being around.



Instead of enjoying and relaxing, I longed for the weekends to come when I could again work my ass like a cow, just as long as I have my baby with me.

Bitten!

Last Wed night, I woke up with an itch on my left arm. I thought I was bitten by some damn mozzies, even though there had not been any sightings of mozzies in my room since the day we moved in.

In the morning, I was greeted by some red, angry-looking hives and realised that it wasn't the work of the mozzies. Whatever that had bitten me, must had got me when I was BBQ-ing the evening before.

2 days later, the itch was still super intense and there seemed to be nodules clustering beneath my skin so I paid a visit to the doctor, who prescribed some anti-histamines and ointment with steroids for me.

After taking the medicine for 2 nights and applying the ointment 3 times a day, why am I still itching like mad?!

Just what the fuck had bitten me?? Whatever it was, I was grateful that it had chosen to bite me instead of Laetitia. But still, I hope that fucking bug dies a horrible death... like kena blinded by some insecticide first, then have its wings tore apart, its abdomen pierced through by a stick and suffered insanely for another 3 days & nights before wringing to exhale its final breathe!

Arrgghhh....

I am so itchy!