Hurt

I am hurt.....

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....... so badly hurt.......

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that I can't even cried out, "Ouch!"

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Mascara Makes My Eye Pain!

I used to use Missha's Mascara which was cheap and good, then they discontinued it and replaced with another one. It was supposed to be better, but it didn't live up to my expectation. And the new version dried up so fucking fast! Tu lan lor!



So I had to hunt for another brand of mascara, because I simply can't live without mascara. I can don't put on any foundation, blusher nor lipstick but I die die need liners & mascara. Coz my eyes simply don't exist without the help of liners and mascara!! So I moved to Fiber-wig. When I was in Japan, few years back, Fiber-wig was big over there. So if it was Japan's best-selling mascara, it gotta be good right?

NB. IT GAVE ME SORE EYE LOR!!

I don't know why, but my right eye became really irritated and turn red and itchy after putting the mascara on. Especially the part closer to the tear duct of the eye. I tried a few times and kena a few times liao lor. See my picture below.

Can't see? I will enlarge the picture, you blind cows!

My only hope lies in the RMK W Mascara. I used to use it and adored it like crazy, when RMK first came to Singapore, then it withdrew probably due to weak marketing & poor business.

This little piece of shit is damn good, but not cheap lor. I remembered it used to be costing around $59 or so!! And I need one EVERY MONTH!! Sibei xiong lor!!

Eh!! Who got lobang for RMK? Kai seow leh!

Or perhaps LUXASIA, the distributor of RMK, can consider paying me to do up an advertorial in my blog for the mascara? Hehehe...

Road accident and more

It was pouring heavily this morning and Mr Hubby was not going the same way as I was, hence I had to take a cab to the office.


While the cab was travelling on the expressway, there was a fucking car in front of us which suddenly E-brake, forcing my cab driver to step on his brakes too. Seconds later, the car behind us screeched and skidded. And the next moment, it crashed right into us!


Everything happened so quickly, when I regained my posture, I thought to myself, "WTF! Last night, I just blogged about leaving the world in a haste, and today I fucking kena an accident! Wu ka jui eh boh!"




Fortunately, nobody was hurt in the process, except for the "backside" of the taxi and the front of the passenger car were dented, everything was well. The cab-driver snapped some photo as "evidence" and exchanged contact no. with the lady bumper, I mean, driver. No drama mama at all. Maybe the cab-driver already got use to getting hit.


When the cab resumed the journey, I suddenly developed a headache. "Xiao liao! Is it concussion?!" I thought to myself. But the head soon eased up after I indulged in a shopping spree, during my lunch-time. Hehehe... Retail therapy! It just works!


I bought a whole load of stuff, 1 set of PJ suit, 2 pairs of long pants to sleep in, for Laetitia. 3 panties, 1 bra, 1 pair of shorts - Everything added up to be under $50! Can you believe I can buy so many things in Orchard Rd with so little money!!

WOO!! HOO!! Because I am a cheap thrill, shopping queen!!

And one more thing, I called up Mr Hubby in the afternoon and told him, how much I love him! Coz I remembered I hadn't been telling him that for the past few days. If the accident in the morning was fatal, I probably died of regrets not letting him know that I love him!

Choy! Choy! Choy!

Letters from Beneath

After writing the previous entry, I was thinking, "What if I have to go without having enough time to say goodbye? Can I prevent such dreadful regret?"


I thought of something quite bizarre, but absolutely BRILLIANT! I am going to pre-write letters to Laetitia & Mr Hubby.

My Letters to Laetitia

1) To be read on your first birthday:

My sweetheart, you have come a long way. You were just a tiny little bundle when I brought home from the hospital, but look at you now, you are almost ready to take on the world! I wish you happiness & health and Mommy really misses you!




2) To be read on your first day to nursery:

How was school, my little piglet? Did you have lots of fun? You know, you are big girl now and big girls don't cry when they go to school. There are so many little friends for you to get to know. Remember, you will always be Mommy's brave little piglet.




3) To be read on 24th Dec 2013:

I remembered your first Christmas's eve when you were just 18 days old, you barely open your eyes when we brought you close to watch the flickering lights of the Christmas tree back in our old home. Now you have grown so much and in another few more days you will be going to a primary school. Your life is get more exciting! I will be watching over you. Missing you.




4) To be read on the day of your first mense:

Welcome to womanhood! Being a woman is not an easy task, but I gotta to say it was fun for me, coz being guys can be boring! Just look at the selection of clothes they have! Don't worry about the cramps, they usually go away on the second day. Don't let mense gets you down. Cheer up, gal!




5) To be read on your 16th birthday:

Happy Sweet 16! What a pretty little lady, you are now! I bet there must be heaps of guys waiting to date you out. Go easy with the dating. Men don't settle down until they past their 30s, so just chill and enjoy the attention and free car rides and presents! LOL!! But do be cautious at all times, some men can an asshole sometimes!




6) To be read when you are falling in love for the first time:

Is he like your grandpa? Your grandpa is the most prefect man, he loves the family, tolerate his wife and loves you very dearly. If your bf-to-be is like that, congrats! If he isn't, I say, take it slow. Love usually can't be too serious for the first few times. But enjoy the fuzzy feeling of being in love. And PS: PRACTICE SAFE SEX!! It will save lives!!




7) To be read when you experienced your first heart-break:

You must be awfully hurt! When I first experienced my heartache, I cried so badly I thought I was going to die. But after a few times, I realised that things ALWAYS gets better, as long as you look ahead. So raise your head up high and march off to better life! NOBODY IS WORTH GIVING YOU AN HEARTACHE!




8) To be read on the night before your wedding:

When I married your Daddy, I knew I had to make this man love me until the end of time. I will make our marriage work. How? I became the most understanding wife in the world, that no one is close enough to win me. Marriage is not about how much the man love you, it's about how much YOU CAN MAKE THIS MAN LOVE YOU! If you don't understand, ask your Daddy. hehehe...




9) To be read on the day you discover that you will be having a baby!

I wish that I am here with you, so that I can share with you my experience and give you advise. But then again, when I was pregnant, I didn't really consult your grandma too much. Well, pregnancy is an amazing journey. Be happy and enjoy this treasured moment!




10) To be read on the day you finally become a mom:

This will be my last letter to you, my Laetitia. You are a mom right now, and I am so proud of you. When I had you, you changed my life. Now your little one is going to change yours too. There will be lots of challenges ahead, but all will be worth it at the end of the day. Laetitia, Mommy loves you so much! Live well.

Letter for Mr Hubby?... when I am free lah!

When would I die?

I read an interesting but rather morbid book, titled "The Book of Death" by Sarah, Liz & Amanda. It has a rather positive but peculiar way of looking at death.

You are afraid to die?

Having attempted my own life in the past, there was a period of my life or in fact, several phase of my life where it is more painful to be alive than to be dead; or so I thought. But with the arrival of Laetitia, everything changes. I ACTUALLY BECOME SCARED OF DYING!

I analyze the reason for my fear and it seems that I am not afraid of the act of dying, what terrifies me is that I wouldn't have the chance to watch Laetitia grows up, see her through her first day in school, witness her graduation and be there for her when she needed me, if I ever died anytime soon. (Choy!! Touchwood!!) And of course, it would be hard for me to give up my wonderful husband to death too.

Maybe these are what were going through my mom's head when she learnt that her cancer is terminal. And many others like her. People are not afraid of dying, mostly we just don't want to let go of the ones we loved.

But looking at the brighter side of dying.... Yes, there is a BRIGHTER side to every fuck things, at least in my personal opinion.

Dying = Still alive but knowing somehow when death is going to take place, so it prepares you for your final count-down... erm, I mean your final goodbye.

But Living, on the other hand = Still alive but not knowing if the next second some shit fuck might just happen and takes your life away so abruptly that you didn't even have the time to figure out how you died.

Well, I have predictably another 47 years to live and will probably die as a saggy and wrinkly old hag! FUCK to that!

If you want to find out when your time is up, try The Death Clock.

Til then, just enjoy being alive!

Beauty is... more than skin deep?

I know, when everyone is going ga-ga over ways to make themselves more beautiful, here I am saying things like the title of this entry. Most people would respond like, "Chey! 内在美 is talk cock one lor!"

No, I am not starting a topic on ugly woman heart of gold = chio bu!

I am referring to people who didn't even have the basic criteria to be judged upon. People who are born deprived of skin!

For a moment, I was equally obsessed with surgical intervention that I could use to cut and manipulate my skin to produce admirable looks and desirable bodies. Then I remember watching the documentary on "Butterfly Children". They are children born with rare genetic disease that caused their skin to blister and peel off layers after layers. And they too needs multiple surgeries to their skin, but not for vanity, just so in order to STAY ALIVE!

I WAS FUCKING SHALLOW TO THINK THAT BEAUTY HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH SKIN!

The beauty of most of the Butterfly Children, is not even on or in their skin; their beauties can be seen from the way they live their lives. They treasure every living moment and try to live to their fullest, even though many would probably not make it pass their 35th birthday!



When Laetitia grows up, I hope she can understand beauty is never about appearance, it is always about how you live your life!

And for the matter, DAMN! I AM FEEL FUCKING BEAUTIFUL TODAY!!

Still on the topic of Plastic Surgery

With the return of that someone who recently had her nose "altered", the flood-gate for invasive as well as non-invasive procedures had been burst! Some had openly flaunted their new-found perfection. Some are looking forward to their "enhancement" vacations. Some had mysteriously evolved after a long break.

Having spent the last 14 years in the beauty industry, I had seen countless of transformations with the people around me. Double eyelids surgeries make it to the top of the list. Nose jobs, boobs jobs, chin implants, botox, fillers, tattooed brows, eyes, lip... and some I had no names to it. And I can't fucking believe I am still a "virgin" when it comes to beauty enhancements. I don't even have a pair of tattooed brows!

So I had a talk to Mr Hubby after finding out from someone that there is a very cheap & famous plastic surgeon in Haytai that would do lipo for under $500 SGD!!

Me: If I want to go Thailand for lipo, would you be supportive?

Mr Hubby: .ya.. (nod)

I was astound by his reply, it came so quick, like as if he didn't even stop to consider.

Me: Huh!? I thought most men would prefer women who are real.

Mr Hubby: Ya. As long as you are a REAL (gender) woman, can already lor.

Me: Surely you would be a little repulsed by women who had plastic surgeries, wouldn't you?

Mr Hubby: No.

I was doubtful, so I decided to test him.

Me: OK. Then let me be honest with you. MY BOOBS ARE FAKE!

Me:.. So are you disappointed now?

Mr Hubby: Ya, I am.

Me: You see! You see!

Mr Hubby: I would be disappointed if yours are fake, because if you had done something to your boobs then why are they still like that! Why not do BIGGER?

Me: ........... (eyes popped & speechless!)

Me: You are shallow lor!

Mr Hubby: Better than hollow lor. LOL!!!!!!

Me: ........... (even more speechless!)




For those who insisted that I had some "plastics" in me, I don't blame you; who could have believed that my metamorphosis is a work of nature if you had seen pictures of me like those below.

If one day, I can fulfill my dream to get lipo, I would go and tell the whole world!!

Woo.. Hoo..!!!

Beauty is Everything?!?!

Recently someone I know had fulfilled her dream of having a smaller & taller nose, after going under the knife. She flew to a neighboring Asian country, renowned for its superior skill of making "plastic beauties" at reasonable prices (approx. 60-70% cheaper than Singapore).

No, not Bangkok lah! That's for the ladyboys ok!!

People who knew about her surgery, waited in anticipation for her return - me included. Because we all wanted to check out the "skill" of her doctor; if her op is a success, I reckon that particular clinic's business will definitely "HUAT AR!!". As I foresee there will be a tsunami of people flying in to have their own little enhancements or perhaps some might even be considering a major "overhaul", because the pricing there are so much cheaper! $15'000 in Singapore, you could only be looking at a nose job, for the same amount of money, you could literally get a face off over there! You can choose to have the look of Dawn Yang, Jolin Tsai or even Maggie Q!

I told Mr Hubby about this too. "Dear, do you think I should also go and cut my eyes bigger? Or do something to my nose or do whatever lah?"

He looked at me and said,"Your face? Don't need lah!...." For a moment, I thought to myself, Wow! See, I say I am pretty de lor!!

Then Mr Hubby continued,"Save the job for your body instead lah!"

NB lor!! +_+ I decided to pretend I don't understand,"You mean like a breast reduction ar? Ya lor, I was hoping to shrink my 34D!!"

"Ya, reduction, but not breasts but everywhere else." Mr Hubby replied.

FUCK! Win liao lor!

Don't care whatever he says, I still believe I am PREFECT...

I mean, pretty lor!! See, never Photoshop one OK!

But I really don't mind getting some help from the plastic surgeon if I could have smaller waist and thinner arms. Hehehe... Perhaps Mr Hubby, you would like to sponsor me?!

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Oh... and we are still on beauty. The following is super maddening lor. Just because the little girl (on the right) is not as sweet-looking, the Chinese official had to hide her face but used her voice on the other cuter girl by asking that cutie to lip-sync. Damn, the Chinese sure can fake every and any fuck things under the sun lor!

Do you know what kind of psychological impact you, stupid Zhang Yimou, had caused to this innocent little girl!! I bet you, $10'000 (RMB lah) that she will get her face "fix" as soon as she turn 18, because you people made her feel inadequate about how she looks.

Years later she will be blaming her chubby cheeks, her crooked teeth and small eyes for causing her, the chance to appear in front of the national TV, to the billions of people watching that fake moment of glory, that should had been truly hers instead!

"Fuck whoever that made the decision to have her replaced! You are an insensitive piece of SHIT!!"

Singaporean & Their Babies

While the Singapore government headache over low birth rate and high numbers of unwed singles, I breathed my sign of relief when my "big auntie" showed up as a bloody stain on my undies. Yes, I am one of the many, who are not keen to have more babies.

With so many articles on the papers, talks on the TV and radio had been going on and on and on about Singaporean not getting hitched and not wanting babies or rather not wanting enough babies to grow our tiny little country, I also want chip in my two cents.

First thing first.


"HELLO!! SGP GOVERNMENT, we are very crowded liao leh. Get the fuck out of your istana and go take the MRT train to have a taste of it first lah!"


Anyway, I am not against having baby. See, what I mean, BABY, not babies. Having one is a joy, 2 or many more, I am just not so sure anymore. Generically, everyone says that women don't want babies because of their work lah, their company/employers are fucking not understanding lah, ultimately they scared to lose their job lah... blah.. blah.. blah..

I was never worried about losing my job when I was pregnant. 3 months maternity leave later, I am back, just as good as before or if not, even better. The key is delegate lah. Plan your leave well. Train/Beg/Bribe people to follow up on your shits, I mean work, while you are away. Have proper backing-up, make sure you clean up your mess before you go. I have worked with people who had been kan na sai one lor and left for maternity irresponsibly, leaving behind a pile of crap for the team-mates only lor. For these people, if the employer decided sacked them, eng kai one mah. I won't be sympathising them lor.

On the contrary, the company I work for is very pro-babies. We are medically covered even for pre-natal visits, we get very substantial amount of subsidy for childbirth, flexi-working, free diapers that lasted me for 6 months, fridge is also available for breastfeeding moms to store their milk. However, I am still pulling the brake at just one. Because I can be working in very pro-babies company, but the fact is I AM STILL A WORKING MOM! The time I get to spend with one baby is already very short, if I have 2, then my time for them is split by half, if I have 3... you do the math lah.

The whole point is I am not arguing if I should and shouldn't be a babies producing machine, I am arguing for the fact that saga DON'T STOP once the baby is born or turn 1 yr old!! Babies are not poultry or vegetable that will just grow by themselves and can be harvested when they are ripe! Babies need to be nurture, stimulated, educated and so much more, if not don't expect them to grow up being able person that can contribute back to the society. Yes, they probably still contribute, if garbage and carbon dioxide count!

And don't even expect the maids or grandparents or childcare centre to nurture brilliant minds, their competencies only extend to look after the babies' general well-being. Be realistic lah!

Bottomline is, if I want to have more kids, I want to be able to stay at home and be a full-time mother. And for me to be a SHM, I will regard that as my career and some bugger better PAY ME a salary as much as I am getting currently, or if not, MORE than I am drawing, because SHM works longer hours ok. That's not all, SHM, is a mother not a 'Maria" so don't expect me to do domestic chores hor!

So SGP GOVERNMENT are you ready for us to give you more babies??

As for the unwed, unattached, unwanted... opss! I mean under-appreciated, I will cover them the next time.

Meanwhile, I AM SO LOVING MY BABY, even though she refuses to play with her own toy lappy and insist to take over mine!! When I stop her, she melts me her sad-puppy-looking expression.

Ok, I gotta go, my little monster is screaming for attention! All that for just ONE baby only. See who dare to have more!

Go Dating

Most couple stop dating after marriage or after having a baby, then when one of them strays, they put the blame on their uninteresting sex life... opss! I mean marriage life.

Making love (not having sex type of making love lah!) last needs the effort from both parties. The husbands have to bring the wives out for romantic night. The wives have to oblige and just drop everything, including your precious baby occasionally and just GO. Let your hair down, bring back the sexy and BE his wife, cast off your motherhood identity, just for one night!

Not too long ago, I was getting ready to sleep, I received a SMS from Mr Hubby, who was out attending a wedding bouquet with his friends. It read. "You wanna go out for a drink? I come and pick you." I was like... hmm... this SMS is for me meh? "Erm... you msg the right person or not? You asking me, your wife out for drinks??" He replied my silliness, "YES, I msg you lah! It's been a while since the 2 of us go for drinks."

And that night, we went to Wala Wala at Holland, the place where we first met and had a great night!

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Last Monday, we went dating again. As Laetitia was at her grands' place; Mr Hubby brought me to this new place for Czech beer and dinner. It's somewhere near Villa Bali, but it is not packed and rowdy like Villa Bali. It's excellent for couple who prefer a quiet night, spent chatting with each other.



There isn't a lot of selection for food on the menu, but the food we ordered were quite yummy. Mr Hubby had kebab and I had grilled fish. And if you are here, you must try the Czech, home-brew beers. The dark one tasted a bit like Guinness Stout mix with Kilkenny, while the light one, I would say, tasted very much like Hooegarden. They can also mix both the light and the dark together. We had one light and one dark each. I prefer the light one.

You can see that I look super crappy and ghastly that night, because I was having a runny nose, but nothing will stop me from going out with my hubby on a date. And that's the secret why he love me instead of any other women. Hehehe...

Virus!

I had fallen sick yesterday... And then today Mr Hubby also catch the virus.

It's always like this; we always fall sick one after another. Regardless whether is it I spread to him or he spreads to me. And it's not like we are damn intimate, always smooching and cuddling like that. We NEVER lor!

RED ALERT : Virus in the air!

Poor Baby Laetitia, she can't sleep with us this weekend :((

Die Molester Die!

Last night I was watching Crime Watch on Channel 5, there was this 21 year old serial molester caught for molesting and brutally attacking girls in the lifts. One of the victims was really young, look like 12 or 14 year old. When the police asked him why he did what he did. He said his "wife", which is his gf lah, is pregnant and hence he got bored and lonely.


WTF!! You can attacked and molest people just because you are bored & lonely & cannot fuck your gf?!?!? Then can women who are made single by divorce, breakup or death of spouse, yank off your cock or bust your balls to make themselves feel better??!! NBCB lor.


This fucker reminded me of my own molesters (ya, not 1 but 2), many years back. First incident happened, when I was with my then bf (MTBF, for short). We were at Lido Cineplex catching a show. He went to the gent, so I hung around outside the toilet alone. Suddenly I felt a hand spanked me lightly on my backside! I turned and saw this Indian boy, hurried past me. I gave him the benefit of doubt that he had done it accidentally.


Then MTBF came out of the gent, he walked in front of me and didn't held my hands. As we were approaching the lifts, I felt my backside being touched again! It was the same bloody person! This time round, he turned around and gave me a smirking look, as if to tell me "So, I touch you again, what can you do?"


I was like NNBCCB lor! I charged towards that fucker, smashed his head against the lift door and slapped him hard across his face. MTBF was shocked! He questioned my action, "What the hell are you doing?" "Don't ask me, ask this fucker. Ask him why he touch me TWICE!" I yelled.


By now the Indian boy was already close to tears as I continued to hurl vulgarities at him, in all the languages I had ever mastered. I screamed at his face, "You are going to the police with me!" With that he broke down and pleaded for a chance. I continued to be vocally abusive, while he begged for forgiveness. In the end, I don't know why, I let him go after warning him never to let me see his face ever again.


The second time I met with another molester. I was alone. Walking towards Chinese Garden MRT Station in broad daylight, I never expected some 'uncle' who walked behind me to lift up my dress. I turned around, he scurried past me and trying to escape. I gave chase. Caught him by his shirt, he tried to fence off my grip, I persistently held him on while I screamed at the top of my lung, with nothing but hokkien vulgarities! Very soon a small crowd gathered, I called out in Mandarin, "来看这个不要脸的色狼! 这麽老了还想摸我!"


He struggled to break free from me and as a result his shirt buttons came off. He ran off. The crowd dispersed. I took out a cigarette, lit it, puffed it and grinned to myself, like some psycho.


Although those two incidents happened more than ten years back, I could still vividly recall them. But I had never felt embarrassed or victimized in any of the situations, maybe it was because I retaliated, I felt empowered, I felt justice had been served, even though I didn't managed to report them to the police.


I believe ALL women can do something to protect themselves. Don't fight back by pulling his hair or hitting him on his chest. You are only wasting your energy.


I watched Nat Geo and discovered that there are many vulnerable parts of a man's body and women can attacked these part with minimal strength and still inflict some serious pain or injuries.


Here are the parts:

1) Eyes - Use your index and third finger, go straight for his eye-ball. Gorge them out!

2) Throat - Karate chop his throat, specifically the area below his adam's apple.

3) Pinkies/Last finger - Grab his last finger and bent it all the way towards the back of his hand until you hear a "crack".

4) Nose - Make your hand into a fist and pound swiftly on his nose, the space between the nostrils.

5) Groin - Use your knee and jerk upward hitting him in-betwen his legs or use your heel and stomp directly on his cock! Nevermind you break those heels, you can always buy another pair. But he can't buy his cock ever.

6) Temples - This area is located at the side of the forehead, slightly above the ear. Use the hard bone of your wrist and hit his temples simultaneously using both arms!



Although it is illegal to carry even a small pocket-knife as self-defense weapon, there are many things a woman can use which law cannot forbid.


1) Jab him on his neck with your manicure scissors or mechanical pencil.

2) Spray hair-spray or perfume directly into his eyes.

3) Poke his eyes with your keys.

Repeat, until you are very sure that your attacker is dead... erm I mean defeated.